Whyntir's Character Dissections: Hetalia series
by Whyntir
Summary: Hetalia is filled with truck-loads of adorkable, silly characters who represent o0ur countries in the real world. However, since Himaruya gave quite a few of them human names, was there some meaning behind that? What are these characters REALLY like?
1. Introduction

Hello, hello, hello, and I want to welcome you all to Whyntir's Character Dissection documents, Hetalia series! Let me explain this a little to you. These are detailed looks at any and all media that I can find (and bear) of a certain series at a time, pertaining to one character. This includes Manga, anime, CD dramas, and the works. I even take a look at fan fictions of other authors and comparing it to the actual depiction. Some results may be shocking.

At the end of each chapter is a list of sources so you can double check that I do not modify any of the material used or lie through my teeth. I want to make this as professional as possible. I will also be taking requests in the Reviews because I read them every time one comes up. I swear, I love them more than writing to tell the truth. Right now I am focusing solely on Axis Powers Hetalia. If you have any other anime or manga you'd like to dissect, I would want that as a PM since that is a different category all together. But I beg you, PLEASE, nothing like Hetalia. Because I'd have to go by every little arc and a few, like the island one, is so spread apart, so random, and still incomplete that it is virtually helpless. That is why I use Hetalia for the characters. Now, on to my intro.

Though Axis Powers Hetalia is one of the most erratic stories that even I thought I couldn't enjoy (but obviously I could. It's just so cute X3), it has a strong cast of very rounded characters. Though it may not seem like such depending on the media you have chosen of it, the characters are very deep and can touch your heart. Again, you may never know this.

The characters I am going to be looking at are the ones with a lot to work with, so not so much with the numerous side characters. BUT THERE WILL BE SOME! Sadly, one doesn't get to see much of the touching sides of the characters since they are laced with sweet and goofy personalities. But my list includes these characters: (Bolded names are ones that are shakey. I don't have much on their actual character, but I'll go digging if you ask.)

Alfred F. Jones / United States of America

Arthur Kirkland / United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

**Francis Bonnefoy**** / France**

**Kiku Honda / Japan**

Ivan Braginski / Russia

**Feliciano Vargas / N. Italy**

**Ludwig / Germany**

Wang Yao / China

Gilbert Belschmidt / Prussia

These are the ones I am, FOR SURE, going to do. If you have more, PLEASE have them have something to their name. If I have a series of lesser ones, I may bunch them all together in "Mini-Dissections: Scarthching the Surface" reviews. I hope you enjoy my strange raves of character development and such. Also, I may be ranting on LACK of character development, though I can't do that much on Hetalia since the characters all appear shallow to begin with. Anyway, I hope you'll review!

Peace yo!


	2. Ivan Braginski

_**Ivan Braginski / Russia**_

* * *

I am going to begin with a close up view of Russia, mostly because I consider it my Motherland and I am a fanatic about the character myself. Let's start with the basics of his character by going into profile mode.

* * *

**Name: **Ivan Braginski

**Nation: **Russia/Soviet Union (The issue between the name and the country is that, by genealogy, any Russian with SKY or SKI at the end of their name has Polish blood somewhere. Is there a reason for it? I have yet to discover.)

**Gender: **Male

**Birthday:** December 30

**Hair color: **His hair is listed as blonde, but violet eyes are usually a form of albinism and it is extremely rare to have darker hair with it, so his hair could be listed almost white or porcelain blonde.

**Eye color: **Violet

**Height: **182 cm

* * *

Okay, so that is what we know of him and the issues in him already. -.- But that isn't the character himself. Now onto the meat of this!

Given personality:

_A large young man who is seemingly bighearted and innocent, but is in reality childishly cruel. He comes off as intimidating without even saying a word, his gentle smile and disposition only intensifying the aura of dread which seems to constantly hang over him. Ivan ends many of his sentences with 'da', the Russian term for 'yes', although in Japanese it is often used to confirm the topic of the sentence, as an informal form of 'desu', the ubiquitous form of 'to be'. _

_He has been tormented since his childhood, having seen many tragedies and wars, which have cracked his mentality. He is, in other words, completely insane. General Winter haunts and attacks him every year, which has caused him to hate the cold. However, in the face of war, General Winter is his best ally. He dreams of one day living in a warm place surrounded by sunflowers. _

_Though he is capable of being incredibly cruel-minded, Ivan himself is unaware of it. Whenever he thinks of either of his sisters he becomes very depressed._

* * *

As observed, there is little **_detail_** to actually go on. He is one of the least viewed characters in Hetalia media, so it makes sense. We are graced to have this sort of thing to the public viewing, but it isn't noted often in fanfictions. As a matter of fact, he is depicted constantly as being cruel and knowing it all the while. This destroys the character that we love so much deep down.

The majority of fan-media says he is as the following:

_Sadistic_

_Demonic_

_Manipulative_

_Selfish_

_Sex Crazed_

_Cold Murderer_

Obviously, some call OOCness, others don't.

Also, a strange thing is that they state from CHILDHOOD that he snapped, but the actual he fell apart at the year 1905 on Bloody Sunday during the revolts at the Winter Palace. If you view the scanlation, he was full grown and had been for the longest time. My personal issue with this notion is that the majority of the major problems in Russia occurred after Napoleon invaded Russia in 1812. Since then, the country had spiraled out of control and into communism and back out to level ground once more with the Russian Federation. The only depressing thing to happen BEFORE the Napolianic war was in 1605-1613 when Poland invaded Russia. This doesn't count the civil unrest the people were going through but, at the time, Revolutions weren't something that came about every day.

Now why is he so incredibly possessive of the other countries like Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, and Ukraine? Well, Ukraine is his sister nation and their relations were deminishing and have been shakey since the fall of the USSR. That's a sad predicament and leaves Russia alone (we all know his issues with Belarus -.-).

Now think of this: Ivan lives in a huge house. Alone. No one there with him. It is cold most of the time. I don't know about you, but I'd start keeping people hostage if I had nothing else in my life. Just snow, the cold, and death. Ever heard the saying _"__Life without a friend is death without a witness"_ (Eugene Benge)? Yeah, same concept; being alone in such a foreboding place as depicted in the scanlations and anime, he merely wants someone there with him. This is also shown in the storyline manga when he travels to Germany for the Non-Aggression Pact. Amidst all the comedy and the one scene where it sounds like he's killing Latvia, to look at the entrance scene where all four stand together what does the viewer think? Mostly how funny Latvia looks in the background, but that's just the poll I've taken over here.

Why did Russia bring EVERYONE to make the deal with Germany when he could have done it by himself altogether? The loneliness issue, once more. He has always been alone and now that he has people who will follow him where ever he goes. He considers them his _friends_ as much as they are his subordinates. Sadly, because he was left to himself for so very long, he has no social skills whatsoever.

* * *

To further this accusation of mine, let's look at his character songs. First _My Heart has a Light_. Maybe there is a meaning in the title as well. From what I have seen in the majority of character songs I have heard, many do not really go into the character's feelings as much as the ones of Russia do, giving him the most to work on.

Certain lines I want to bring to attention on his song are bolded:

_Swan Lake has also frozen over _

_**I've endured the cold, too **_

_There's a hill where sunflowers grow, too _

_The region is called "tsundere", but _

_It's a tundra _

_**My personality isn't always apparent **_

"_**Full of mysterious," they say, and get scared **_

_The Cossack Dance is pretty famous, right? _

_Without using their hands, they can kick pretty hard _

_**From behind, be-be-beat up all the bullies **_

_Pe-pe-pe pe-pe-pe-pe-pechka, __**light my heart**_

_Whoops! My vodka fell from my pocket _

_Pe-pe-pe-pe-pechka, put some borscht on it _

_More vodka, everyone sings la-la-la-la-lai la lai _

_It's really fun, chatting with a smile _

_I'll give you some piping hot pirozhki _

_**We're like comrades – huh? I wonder if I'm wrong… **_

_On a sled shouting, "Yahoo!" ro-ro-rolling in the snow _

_My admiration lies in the southern islands _

_**I wish I could send my honest feelings **_

_We don't want children that can't play nice _

_There's no such service as "compromise" in Russia _

_Even the cursed chair gets blo-blo-blown into bits _

_Pe-pe-pe pe-pe-pe-pe-pechka, __**light up my dreams **_

_**I wonder if the Baltics still like me? **_

_Be-Be-Belarus, don't come over here _

_**Quietly, with no-no-no-no-no vodka or tears **_

_Carrying soil with just manpower _

_Even though I know we're below primal technology _

_I'm proud of even handmade things _

_Though I can't make anything but Matryoshka _

_My house is unique, Kre-Kre-Kre-Kremlin _

_Pe-pe-pe pe-pe-pe-pe-pechka, __**it's like the sun**_

_Oops, the sparks are burning too much, crackle crackle _

_Then-then-then now, let's open the faucet _

_Hum, that's strange, water won't come out at all! _

_Pe-pe-pe-pe-pechka, __**light my heart**_

_Oops, I need my scarf, or I'll catch a cold _

_Pe-pe-pe-pe-pechka, put some borscht on it _

_More vodka, everyone sings la-la-la-la-lai la lai _

_**Don't be scared, don't be scared **_

_Frightening Russia _

* * *

Does that sound like any of the fan-based creations we find running rampant all over the web? He asks if the Baltic still like him, so that means he has feelings for them, like he considers them friends! Also, he says people con't understand his personality and are automatically afraid of him, even though he really doesn't want to hurt anyone! The second to last line can be either of these two meanings. Either Russia is trying to tell everyone not to be scared of him OR he is telling himself that. Again, he has been alone for so long. It isn't silly business to be afraid of being alone. Either way, you can't help but feel sorry for him. Now on to Winter. Again, bolded means take a good look at it.

* * *

_Thick clouds _

_Cover my window_

_Cutting off the light _

_**A fleeting nightmare **_

_**Covered with a scarf**_

_I begin to move… _

_Good bye_

_**Even now, **_

_**I don't understand**_

_Good bye _

_**To what lies beyond the darkness… **_

_As if calling to the utter stillness, _

_A flower blossoms! _

_Please sing! _

_**Grief is not a sea, you can drink it to the dregs**_

_The height of the blizzard _

_Puts splotches on the moon_

_Frightened of the wind _

_My instinct, awakened _

_By the calling of crow_

_I begin to move…! _

_Good bye _

_From here on _

_I don't understand _

_Good bye_

_**Shaking off my emotions **_

_**To see through the origins of good and evil **_

_**I am changing! And so **_

_**I sing to the world…**_

_Good bye_

_Even now_

_I don't understand_

_Good bye_

_To what lies beyond the darkness _

_As if calling to the utter stillness, _

_A flower blooms! _

_Now! Sing… _

_**Farewell**_

_**Until the day I can see clear skies**_

_Farewell _

_**Facing the darkness **_

_**So I can collect my confused thoughts**_

_Farewell_

_Please sing strongly!_

* * *

Now where to even begin with that one! Look at all the material to pick apart. Let's start with the beginning. Russia calls himself a nightmare in a scarf moving through. Is he admiting to being evil? ABSOLUTLY NOT! He has no clue that he hurts other, completely unwaware. He is talking about what he had gone through for all the years. The riots, the unfathomable murders. He considers his existance a nightmare because of what has happened on his soil! Murders during Tsarist Russia, the Bolshivik Civil War, Stalin's nuemerous purges of the people, the famines made by the government, the innocents killed or sent to Siberia. THAT is the nightmare that is Russia.

I'm going to save the chorus for later. Let's go to the one line "_Grief is not a sea, you can drink it to the dregs_". What does that say? He hurts, he is in pain from everything that has happened. He grieves on the inside about everything that has happened. Now let's understand this is a different side to the Russia we know. Whether it is the Russia inside the child-like man or the one after the Cold War, we do not know. But whatever it is, he regrets everything that has happened! How can a fan make Russia such a monster when this is how he thinks!

Next is that he is shaking off his emotions. Now remember the scanlation that was mentioned in the earlier part? Let's observe that once more. In the scantlation, Russia starts crying because his people are so ungrateful for everything he has done to help them. It can be stated that Ivan blames his emotions on what had happened. That can also be linked to our real world history. Ivan the Terrible (or Awesome) was listed as being intelligent and devout but prone to fits of rage and episodes of mental illness (some speculate extreme bipolar disorder). These strong, emotionally-driven occurrences lead to Ivan the Terrible killing his eldest son and leaving it to the younger, and possibly retarded, Feodor.

Stalin was also sucseptible to sudden bursts of paranoia and had millions murdered on the slightest incident that made the totalitarianist in fear of being overthrown. Both were pulled along by strong emotions that ruined them in the long run. One must also understand the next line is a continuation of it. Russia says he wants to find the origin of Good and Evil in HIM and proclaims he is changing, for the better in the light of things. He sings to the world, declaring he is doing his best to fix all the wrong that has occurred. This further promotes the thought that this song is sung after the Cold War.

Then he explains he is leaving until he can understand everything that has happened, why, and come to terms with it. This ties into the chorus with the fact that he doesn't know what to do, why any of it happened. He is confused and needs to sort out the puzzle to make everything better.

* * *

_**Fanon Correction**_:

After that long assessment, the only question that can be asked is HOW COULD YOU PEOPLE DO THIS! By everything the CANON MEDIA has sent out, how can anyone call Russia an evil monster without pleading OOC to any of it! Russia is, by far, one of the deepest characters in Hetalia and some of the most serious to be taken. Though rarely seen, so much is pushed out for him and it is some of the most heart breaking. Please, people, Russia isn't a Cold-blooded murderer who is out to torture everyone by any means necessary. * He doesn't mean ANY of what he does and it destroys his character to nothing but a pound of ashes. Do you understand the issues? Please correct the pictures strewn of this evil man with a child's smile and realize even he has a conscious.

* * *

*I am not saying he isn't manipulative, since he is as stated in the same strip as he goes to Germany's house.

* * *

**Works sited:**

http : / / aph. starry-sky. com/ russ. html

http : / / hetalia. wikia. com/ wiki/ Ivan_Braginski

http : / / aph. starry-sky. com/ 05. html

http : / / hetalia. wikia. com/ wiki/ My_Heart_Has_A_Light

http : / / hetalia. wikia. com/ wiki/ Winter


	3. Alfred F Jones

_**Alfred F. Jones / United States of America**_

On request of CubaPwns13, I'll be looking into Italy and America. There may not be too much more to the characters than the bare minimum, but I'll give it my best shot because you were so kind in asking! ^^ I'll get to Italy next since I must do more research for him. I want to apologize if this isn't much. If I ever get more information, I'll be posting it in another chapter. Thank you.

Also, I want to address that I do not mean this in anyway to be the whole truth and nothing but the truth, still, with logic and evidence I hope to prove. There are some details I may get wrong, so please forgive my mistakes since I am not claiming to be God here ^^;. I just want to have people thinking when they read.

* * *

**Name: **Alfred F. Jones

**Nation: **United States of America

**Gender: **Male

**Birthday: **July 4

**Hair color: **Blonde

**Eye color: **Blue

**Height: **177cm

_Alfred is a cheerful, energetic, yet somewhat conceited young man who is obsessed with heroes, justice, and freedom. He has the habit of sticking his nose into everyone else's business, which causes him to have difficulty making friends. He loves hamburgers and junk food, and can even eat strange and inedible things due to inheriting __Arthur's sense of taste (or lack thereof). Alfred is also known for not being aware of how "the atmosphere" is when he's around others(which, at one point, he was told to read it), but it has been noted that it's not that he lacks the ability to "assess the situation", he simply chooses not to. His profile states that his hobbies are sports, games, and making movies. Furthermore, in the side-story __**Black Ships Have Come**__, in introducing himself to Kiku, he states that his hobbies are "quick-draw, archaeology, and adventures" (which is translated to Kiku as Alfred's hobby being lechery). He possesses an abnormal amount of strength, shown even as a child by easily swinging a full-grown buffalo around, and has been once seen running around dragging a heavy SUV, belonging to Arthur, behind him for an hour in order to ask permission to borrow it. _

_Alfred is shown to be ignorant of the geography outside his own home, believing that maps of the United States are a "world map" and believes that he can simply get to other countries by car travel. He is shown becoming concerned about his weight in the strip __**Supersize You!**__ and it is mentioned that he's invented strange diet machines as well as becoming obsessed with exercise (which has caused him to become paranoid about his rising weight, as he is unaware of his building muscle). As Alfred is obsessed with heroes and happy endings, he hopes that his future will be that way. _

_Though he is friends with an alien named Tony, he doesn't believe in Arthur's magical friends, the fairies or unicorns._

* * *

Okay, this is WAY more background than in is for most the other characters O.o I feel that someone really likes Alfred on Wiki . . . Anyway. Let's see if we can look into and explain his outlying personality. In a nut shell America is stated as:

_Energetic_

_Optimistic_

_Charismatic_

_Ignorant (more like arrogant but we'll get there)_

_Self-centered_

Oddly enough, I feel a little changed after looking at his character songs, but only slightly. Holy fudge cakes, if you wanted one of the shallowest characters in this anime, you got one. Why is it that one of the characters that shows up in so many episodes and has a HUGE fan base (I mean, literally! People pair this guy up with EVERYONE! And what's creepier is that they all make sense!) and there is little insight into the actual character. But, I am not giving up just yet!

As much as I love America to death, he is . . . a very contradictory character. This is stated with a form of conservatism because I can't dive as deep as I did in my previous chapter, not spending the extensive time and prepping weeks as I did for Russia. Sadly, this will hinder my argument greatly. What is my argument? America is more human than he lets on. He hides behind his smile to move on. I'm going to be basing this on the scanlations more than anything.

Like a good writer, I'll save my best for last so let's go to the Character songs that I don't think any one could take seriously. Oh gosh.

* * *

_Hey you guys! Nufufu! _

_It's America, __**everybody's hero**__! HAHA! _

_All right! Let's go to the HAMBURGER STREET! _

_Gimme more Hamburger~ _

_Gimme more Hamburger~ _

_U__・__S__・__A OH YEAH! _

_Kinda cool, isn't it? GET IT ON _

_H__・__B__・__G Oh Yeah! _

_It's the world standard GOING ON _

_Only have a map of the United States _

_Can't sleep after watching anything scary _

_A cute, ready-for-a-fight nice guy? _

_U__・__S__・__A__HERE WE GO! _

_Gimme more hamburger _

_Gimme more hamburger _

_U__・__F__・__O__OH YEAH! _

_He's my best friend, "Tony!" _

_U__・__M__・__A OH YEAH! _

_The more unidentified, the better DREAM ON _

_Can't go without ice cream for dessert _

_**I don't read the mood at all**__NA HA! _

_Big and many are considered normal _

_GIVE ME MORE HAMBURGER! _

_When you're cheerful__HAMBURGER__(and shake-shake) _

_Even when you're sick__HAMBURGER__(and French fries) _

_If you put it on your forehead, you'll be better in no time _

_By the way, HEY BOY! What's a cold? _

_**Being positive is very **_

_**GREAT, **__GREAT, GREAT! _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_I am the hero of this world! _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_**Let's go, if it's for justice**__Yeah! _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_I'm counting on your support__Boy & Girls _

_HAMBURGER STREET  
I won't accept any objections__HA! _

_You~ too~ Hamburger~ _

_(HA! __Dorufuu~) _

_You~ too~ Hamburger~ _

_R__・__E__・__D__HYA HO! _

_Of course red is my color, BECAUSE _

_U__・__S__・__A__OH YEAH! _

_When another country is taking charge, POWER DOWN _

_Transformation is essential for being COOL _

_I don't think about what will happen after something is made__NA hH! _

_Don't care even if someone calls me fat _

_GIVE ME__MORE__HAMBURGER! _

_When you're alone__HAMBURGER__(and shake-shake) _

_Even during a conference__HAMBURGER__(Bon Appétit!) _

_Every day, I change the seasoning so I don't grow tired of it _

_By the way,__HEY GIRL! _

_How do I lose weight! _

_Online shopping is very _

_GREAT, GREAT, GREAT! _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_I am the leader of this conference! _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_A plan that's super sized__Yeah! _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_Feels like we're partying__Boy & Girls _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_**I won't accept any criticisms from England **_

_If we were to compare the world to hamburger buns (Because you're stupid) _

_Cheese__・__Lettuce__・__Tomatoes and onions _

_Ketchup__・__Pickles__・__Mustard _

_Many different countries would be sandwiched together _

_And then the main attraction appears _

_The hamburger patty that everybody loves _

_That would be me, AMERICA _

_"The HERO BURGER is selling with rave reviews!" _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_I am the hero of this world! _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_Let's go, if it's for justice__YEAH! _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_I'm counting on your support, BOY & GIRLS _

_HAMBURGER STREET _

_I won't accept any objections__NA HA HA HA… _

_Gimme more hamburger _

_(HA HA HA… Dorufuu~!) _

_Gimme more hamburger _

_YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! _

_Thank you, thank you all for supporting me! _

_I'm leaving the rest up to you, _

_Since a hero has many things that keeps him busy! _

* * *

Hm, found more than I thought I would. That works in my favor. Now, Taking a closer look at the beginning, you may understand my hectic thinking. I guess you need that when working with America, right? Now, since I don't have so much that is solid, these are simply speculations of the character by slanted and askew angles. This is, again, a SPECULATION since I have very little to ground it.

America is EVERYONE'S HERO! This is mostly seen as stereotyping Americans because where ever there is trouble, US will be there! . . . Maybe it is something deeper. Through out history, the USA was once the most isolated country in the world. In the beginning of World War One, all of Europe was getting it hard and America was across the pond just living his life without an actual care. Once Germany attacked the passenger ship (I forget the name, but it was also carrying arms for the Allies so, in my opinion, they had a right) America was all up in arms to take the Germans down. Hence, the USA dived, head first, into the war.

Afterwards, with the League of Nations, America (THE CREATOR OF IT) did not join and returned to isolationism. This lasted until World War Two with Nazi Germany, but it was made public by the bombing of Pearl Harbor by the Japanese. After WWII, Truman made the country the world police force, which is a real pain in the ass.

There can be three reasons the Hetalia America is like that:

1) He is just that arrogant and thinks he is just that awesome.

2) He wants to help look out for the little guy, and Heroes ALWAYS do that.

3) He regrets his isolationism where more people than necessary got killed and it could have been prevented

I'm going to say that the first and second ones are right, and the third one is me thinking too hard and tying him a little too close to the actual America of this world. The Americans are Crusaders in their own right, ready to jump into any war the second their boss rallies them together, but quick to become bored and find it a waste of time. Well . . . yeah, it kinda is.

Then the line that he doesn't read the atmosphere . . . Okay that isn't IGNORANCE that is ARROGANCE. As a matter of fact, America isn't ignorant at all. Stupid, well . . . yeah. Ignorant not at all it seems. He doesn't just "Not read the atmosphere" but that's in the NEXT song and I get ahead of myself. What I am trying to say is that America just really doesn't care.

Yay, let's all be POSITIVE! Oh jeez I'm gonna die. No, the matter is that America doesn't like thinking about the sad things in life. Think about it: He is always so optimistic, but he uses that smile to just keep moving. He dedicates one whole shed/room to all his dark past. Most of them weren't so dark at the time, but they soon become a mixture of regret, lost happiness, and denial.

The next part sort of goes hand in hand. Let's do it if it's for Justice, I won't take any criticism from England. Well, the entire reason America declared independence was because he felt England had unjustly pressed taxes and laws on them for no reason. While England DID have a reason, the way he went about it was totally wrong. It did push a sort of unjustified tone to it and completely deteriorated their relationship. On another note, America specifying England means that he sees him in specific. Ah, the colonial days: When pay was bad, life was hard, death was everyday, and the world just seemed perfect~. America doesn't want criticism from the former empire because he still wants his approval to an extent. As strange as it is, he grew up looking up at England and wants to please him just as much as Arthur wanted to please Alfred with all the childish gifts (but that's for Arthur's review). America is still looking for the recognition from England that he CAN take care of himself. That he IS just as strong, if not stronger than England. He wants the former empire to recognize him for what he did, does, and tries to do.

Now onto the next one where I PRAY to find more in there and not just a bunch of repeats.

* * *

_Washington__D.C.__D.C.__Oh, oh! _

_Washington__D.C.__D.C.__Oh, oh! _

_Giving up is nonsense! __This sky _

_Red line __There are the shining stars _

_**Cross the borders **__**And bid your sadness **__**Good-bye! **_

_HAMBURGER __Stuffed in your mouth _

_Come on __Everybody! Dancing! _

_Washington D.C. D.C. Oh, oh! _

_Bang! With __**courage **__**And justice **__All right! _

_1__・__2__・__3__&__Stand up! _

_Freedom!__Oh, oh! _

_1__・__2__・__3__&__Stand up! _

_Freedom!__Oh, oh! _

_**I purposely won't read the atmosphere**__! __Going my way (way way way…) _

_That's the style __Overflowing vitality _

_Riding a UFO (Hehehehe…!) Watching a movie (Hehehehe...!) _

_Hot Night! _

_The party's cake is earth-colored! Join us! _

_1__・__2__・__3__&__Stand up! _

_Freedom!__Oh, oh! _

_Use a machine to diet __The result All right! _

_Now then, let's combine forces to solve the world's problems one by one! _

_Tell me, the hero, your ideas! _

_We can surely do it! We'll surely be okay! _

_Yes, we can! _

_Come on, you should all join us, with me! _

_High and proudly __The flag waves Oh _

_Cross the borders __And bid your sadness Good-bye! _

_HAMBURGER __Stuffed in your mouth _

_Come on __Everybody! Dancing! _

_Washington__D.C.__D.C.__Oh, oh! _

_Now then, I'm going to announce everyone's assignment! _

_Let's see… first off, _

_England, I want you to be part of my chorus _

_Next, France will be part of my chorus, _

_And China will be part of my chorus! _

_Eeh... Lastly, Russia has an important role to play: _

_Being part of my chorus! _

_That's all! _

_Huh? __What am I going to do? _

_That's a good question! Of course, I'm going to be the hero! _

_Washington__D.C.__D.C.__Oh, oh! _

_THANK YOU!_

* * *

Okay, not as much as I would have hoped. Grr. America: The land of the free, home of the brave, and the biggest hoarder of imbeciles on the planet (Not all American, but a few too many mind you~). Now, the funny joke and a dash of irony I wish to point out is that it says "Cross the boarders and bid your sadness good-bye". The only boarder people are allowed to cross without machine guns being aimed at them is Canada! Mexico has police and all sorts of machinery ready to blow you up~. America ISN'T what it's choked up to be people XD Really.

Courage and justice . . . from the unjust. Right, all the symbols of America are thrown to the dumpster when you really meet the people. I feel this melancholy pain in my chest. When people died everyday all around the world, it was such a nicer place~. To an extent.

HA! THERE! SEE IT! He purposefully DOESN'T read the atmosphere. Why? Just because. No one in the world can get America's hopes down . . . besides England. Yesh! You heard me right! ENGLAND! He doesn't read the mood because he simply doesn't want to let the weight drag him down. He wants more than anything NOT to become like the other countries. England who lost all his fun after giving up the privateer life *sniffle~*. France after the Revolution. Russia after the revolts. China after the Open Door policy (And Japan who, sadly enough, was FORCED into the same policy by AMERICA himself). All of them, though depicted as funny, fluffy, lovey-dovey characters, are all quite depressing. Wouldn't they miss the good old days when war and blood ruled everyday living? When the blood shed was honorable and the death wasn't so quick. America never got to see that age. He knew absolutely NOTHING of what was going on. All the wars and all the glory. Regrettably, it ended all too soon. But they all hold a form of depression to a degree. America does everything he can to live without the past because it always seems sweet and bitter after it is all said and done.

Now, to further my thought process, I'll be gazing at the scanlations of America's Cleaning Shed. The best form of evidence I got (sad really). Now, when we start out, we see Alfred with his smile. Upbeat as usual. As happy as he ever is. Then he enters the room. He goes from "Happy carefree" to "This smile is really hard to wear". He remembers the toy soldiers and feels a little put out. One can only see his back, but can also assume that the smile is gone, or at least wavering. He finds the suit and simply states, "And this". When people talk, their answers or comments become more and more curt, tart, and short as their mood turns cold. He remembers the incident and frowns. Suddenly he has an obviously fake smile begging for something that ISN'T depressing. He finds the musket and smiles. Old, good for display . . . he sees the scratch. He looks like his whole world just fell apart in that one moment.

What is the next thing we see? We see him outside. He ran from the past and the pain and the memories. He ran away from it all. He isn't as happy-go-lucky as one would have thought. He even called the one memory of the toy soldiers "Depressing" How could a happy childhood memory be depressing? Because they were the good times with England, when he could look up and feel truly safe. When Alfred had a guardian, protector, and loving brother. He realizes he threw that all away, but he had no real choice in the matter. He misses being happy and content with Arthur, but those are past days and they will never be coming back.

* * *

**My final conclusion of America:** He is in total denial. He doesn't want to admit anything about his feelings of depression and loss. He isn't all he is cracked up to be. He does realize the over powering feelings of sadness and melancholy, but he doesn't want to show them. He isn't ignorant and unaware, he just chooses NOT to be. He doesn't want to live with a constant nag, but the more he tries to forget, it is very possible he is burying himself deeper in his own despair.

* * *

So those are my ends. You may have your own. I hope you review and look forward to any of the newer dissections coming out at some point or another O.o Love you all~!

* * *

**Sited:**

.com/wiki/Hamburger_Street

.com/wiki/W%E3%83%BBD%E3%83%BBC_~World_Dancing~

.com/wiki/Alfred_F._Jones


	4. FUNimation's Dubbing of Hetalia

Hello everyone, I'm putting my previous work aside for one moment because something horrifying has happened . . . . Hetalia has been dubbed by FUNimation! Now, I AM being quite over dramatic, just for a few giggles, no harm no foul~! Anyway, I was actually looking forward to hearing the voices of the characters and listen to all those epic accents buuut . . . . Perhaps I should explain~.

I want to first make known that I do not have something against dubs just because they're DUBS I have issues with BAD dubs! Hetalia isn't BAD but it defiantly isn't GOOD. The accents are wonderful though. I do have quite a few issues with it all *sighs* The thing is, I guess I had my hopes WAY too high for FUNimation because I based it off of the few dubs they did do exceptionally. Those being Ouran High School Host Club, Baccano!, Black Cat, Full Metal Alchemist, Soul Eater, and Negima were alright. I have heard others from them, specifically Fruits Basket, that was actually quite hard on the ears, though I never heard the Japanese. I make a point to finish out in the language I start in.

With Hetalia, I threw all my weight on those few dubs. I was expecting something that could at least MATCH the original or even out shine it with the accents . . . I got this. I got the most horrifying gunshot to the head with these. But notice I didn't say EARS! I have nothing against the English voice acting other than America having a Californian accent when he is from New York as stated in a later episode . . . But the way the characters are depicted in the English dub actually RUINS the characters!

Does everyone remember the scene with America formulating the plan against the Axis Powers telling everyone to be his back up? I understand matching the flaps and everything, but the lines stated were disastrous! He literally tells the Allies to go suicidal so he can walk over their corpses and be the Hero. WHAT THE HELL! I feel like crying remembering it *sniffle*. From my before mentioned analysis of America, there is NO WAY he'd ever do something like that. What makes you chuckle is that it seems America the country is like that now, but it wasn't then!

Also, was I the only one hearing America's voice and feeling as though everything worth living for in life was sucked from my very soul? His voice has no energy. He just speaks as fast as he can and hardly changes the pitch, when he does, it sounds WRONG. Like it was malicious to begin with and now he's just mocking you. Was that really how we saw America? He went from being annoying to just being an asshole. I can't listen to him at all. And you want to know why I am not particularly surprised he sounds like that? He is played by the man who played YUKI SOHMA from Fruits Basket. I will admit I never liked the voice chose for him; it didn't match his personality or his appearance. You get used to it, but America is like a shattered mirror. The pieces are too small to tape, let alone glue, back together.

Then there is Russia. Well . . . the accents pretty well done~. I have no issue with the grammar as I have Russian friend who drops word now and then. X3 Or used to~ He's really good at speech surprisingly~ XD. But the pitch is what bothers me. No, he doesn't have to sound exactly like the Japanese masterpiece that was created, but at least attempt to keep his psychology in tact. Let me explain. I took psychology in school and I also know quite a few people who are children in their minds. They speak with a higher pitch. Their brains think in that tone and automatically shift the vocal chords to match it. Someone DIDN'T know psychology in that studio. I may have to blame bad voice directing on that one though. Oh, and guess what, he is played by KYO SOHMA! Why do I have the most problems with these people *sighs*?

I will say one thing good about this. Like, exceptionally, amazingly, blow your mind out good! FRANCE! OMG! Finally something to praise! He is played by the same man who voice-overed for Kyouya Ootori! Are we surprised . . . ? Well, I'm not! If you hear the bloopers of Host Club, he has a great French accent and I adore him to no end~! No surprise he's in EVERY ONE of the anime I listed off. Whether he's minor or major, he has a wonderful voice and hearing him is always a joy~ ^^

Italy is one of those You-like-it-or-you-get-used-to-it voices, like England. But I don't really like how England's voice pitches. It sounds a lot like the baby from Family Guy. It scares me. Italy is more like Mario and some gender-bent form of Luigi's love child. I wish I was kidding, but that's how it sounds. It's like the person acting is trying to sound as close to the original and throwing a hint of Mario in there. Not a good mix all together, but you kinda get accustomed to it. I had honestly just grown to love England and then one of the girls I got into the anime makes me listen to him and my heart was hanging like a crescent moon in the sky, AKA: on one hinge! Italy was all like . . . . WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFF- But yeah. I miss the "Doitsu Doitsu!" Not the same with "Germany Germany!" Ya know? Kinda kills the love.

China, sounds sorta like a dike. NO HATE TO HOMOSEXUALS OR ANY OF THE SUCH! The issue is that it sounds too much like well . . . a girl-trying-to-be-a-guy-and-failing-epicly. It makes me . . . gag. I don't like how the English sounds like a manly woman. Yeah, the Japanese did that too, but more manly. Ya know? Have you heard her sing! Damn that woman can bellow XD. But it is much nicer on the ears~.

Overall . . . I like the Japanese MUCH better. Yeah, the English has some new jokes like the episode where Germany and Japan are all buddy-buddy and Germany asks if they have to kiss and Italy replies with "Nope~! . . . Unless you want to~." That was an epic win. And the one line they bleeped out talking about Machiavelli, but that was just thrown in there for a laugh. As a good writer, one knows that cursing is usually for a sense of comedy, mostly placed at the most inopportune times. It's what we call "Cheap laughs" which is right up there with Cheap Horror or also known as "The Gross-out". Slipping in those little tricks may get you there for a lil while, but you'll need some REAL talent as they go. I just can't see that with FUNimation because it was already pulled off in the Japanese and they'll most likely lose their flavor with the English dub. I will admit one thing though. I wanna see how they pull off Italy's interrogation in the dub. That'll be a good laugh . . . if they do it well . . . maybe I should drop my expectations . . . *gloooooomy*


	5. Gilbert Beilschmidt

Today, everyone, I will be tackling Prussia, just because he is the next most to work on. Though it may not be a lot. Also, this was requested by Sirdimsum . . . though they did ask for just about everyone ^^; Anyway, I LOVE Prussia, so hold on for a ride and a lot of historical tangents ^^.

* * *

**Name:** Gilbert Beilschmidt

**Nation: **Prussia

**Gender:** Male

Birthday: January 18

**Hair color:** Platinum Blonde

**Eye Color: **red-violet

**Height:** 177cm

**Personality:** _**He loves to fight and often says things that will start quarrels.  
• Since birth, he has been wielding his sword for his own survival, so he is very strong.  
• He has gone on a rampage in Hungary and Poland before, so his relationships with these two are rather rocky.  
• His manners are also quite terrible. (Prussian troops are quite known for their bad behavior.)**_

• He is supposed to be around Austria's age, just a little older, but he doesn't look like it.  
• He loves Friedrich II a lot. Even after his death, whenever something or someone brings up the history of Friedrich II, he'll be depressed.  
• He was under Russia's control after WWII, dreaming of Italy's warm sunshine, while stuck with doing unprofitable jobs.

[Miscellaneous]  
Initially, his hair style had not been fixed, his head was covered with his hat, and he was a pitiful character who has to endure being forced to go through tough times.  
Initially, the plan was to draw him acting his age but he gradually became more childish.  
A discarded character design has him with long hair and a face like Poland's.

* * *

Awwww isn't he cute~! Anyway, oddly enough Prussia seems to be one of the deeper characters, though hardly seen and totally over looked. HOW CAN YOU OVERLOOK HIS AWSOMENESS! Heehee, anyway, there is a lot of fan stuff on here. Fun, right? That just means either too much or too little to go on. And a lot isn't credible.

Prussia has always been a little monster if I must say so myself. He loves war – who couldn't love it? – but he loves it to an OBSESSION! I guess you can attribute that to the rulers who have taken control of Prussia since the Teutonic Knights. He is the quintessential Crusader of Hetalia. Though being blood-lusting and extremely antagonistic, he is a devout Christian and prays to God asking for forgiveness (after touching Hungary's breasts, unknowing she was a girl).

But unlike most of the other countries, Prussia is human. Did I say human? YES! He actually cares deeply for one of his previous bosses, Frederick II of Prussia. None of the other countries have such emotional ties to actual people than Prussia does. What I have noticed about lots of the cosplayers and fan media is that they forget he gets depressed when old Fritz comes in conversation. They take it differently, that Prussia is calmer, but perfectly fine. One thing can be taken from their relationship: Fritz was like a father/best friend figure and he did have a mellowing effect. He seemed to make Gilbert focus, even for a minute. ALSO, Prussia is the only character to cry. Seriously, yes the other countries cry, but over stupid things or issues dealing directly to the state of their respective nation. Gilbert is the only one who cries over something that is totally normal: Being alone. He sees Hungary and Austria happy together and spending Christmas as a couple. Prussia, feeling a pain of depression, begins crying over the fact he has absolutely no one to spend the holidays with. Even though he repeatedly tells himself that it's better he's alone, it is a failure at self brainwashing. Even if it was supposed to be somewhat funny, I still felt real bad for him. I can even relate (as fricken scary as it is).

Now, let's look at his songs. The character songs could have been better in my opinion. He is an incredibly human character, but gets extremely shallow songs, WTH! He is adorable though X3. And, seriously, this will be the only character where their Marukaite Chikyuu will be used (For earlier references). He has one or two good lines in it. Also, I'll be looking at Prussia's CD dramas! YES! CD DRAMA! First one I've used really, since I couldn't find any others. But YAY! Now, Marukaite Chikyuu.

* * *

_Eins-Zwei-Drei-Vier! _

_Draw a circle, it's the earth _

_Draw a circle, it's the earth _

_Everybody follow with me, _

_It's the awesome me! _

_"Iiiiyaahaaa~~" _

_Draw a circle, little bird _

_When did it get there, little bird _

_Chirping on my head, _

_It's cute! _

_I draw the earth _

_The awesome! Me! _

_Whether you're sure or not, _

_I'm Prussia _

_Aah, that little guy who's chirping, _

_I'm going to pet it _

_Feels so good! _

_I just can't stand it! _

_("Aaahh ahhh~ Feels so good!") _

_The universe's here because I'm here _

_The galaxy's here because I'm here _

_Endless awesomeness, _

_I'm Prussia! _

_Hnhnhnhnhn~ _

_Draw a circle, hnhnhn _

_All of a sudden, hnhnhn _

_Proudly, hnhnhn _

_I'm a hunk! _

_Aah, that young master over there, _

_That guy is super stingy _

_Don't be fooled- _

_Don't be fooled-! _

_**"Hey hey old man Fritz, **_

_**Even though I'm always fighting, please watch over me**_

_The diaries that I write everyday without fail _

_**The memories that are all buried in the bookshelves **_

_I was so cute when I was little!" _

_"But seriously, cleaning up is so much trouble! _

_Hey hey Mutti, _

_Hey hey Mutti, _

_Königsberger Klopse, _

_I just can't forget the taste of it!" _

_Mixing together lemon rind and anchovies, that's the secret! _

_"Kesesesese! Being alone is so much fun! _

_Let me put today into the diary of the awesome me before I forget! _

_"Bird Month *Piyo* Day", I was so cool when I was singing _

_Okay! It's the best diary entry!" _

_Let me give myself _

_The awesome me honor award _

_Seize glory _

_Seize the earth _

_Nonstop, it's the earth _

_Nonstop, it's me-arth _

_It's the highest climatic awesomeness! _

_It's Prussia! _

_It's the awesome me! _

_"So much fun! But I'm tired! I'm going to rest now~_

_To the last, I'm so cool!" _

* * *

Ever thought it possible to look at Marukaite Chikyuu? Appearantly it is XD. Anyway, the bolded lines are so sweet (even if there are only 2 :/) I cannot get over how amazing it is that Prussia actually asks Frederick II to watch over him, even if he does something his former boss disapproved of. Seriously, Frederick II wasn't the warmonger you thought he was. During the Seven Years War, he even thought of suicide because he couldn't stand all the pointless bloodshed caused by Maria Theresa's foolhardiness of revenge. Stupid, emotional woman. SERIOUSLY, Austria was thuroughly protected! This was the Korean War of Europe! Aka: POINTLESS! (Yes I am very sexist right now)

Aslo, the fact that he says "_The memories that are all buried in the bookshelves_", it gives a poetic, almost reminisce flow to the words. The memories are '_Buried_'. That is just utter amazement, going from self-centered Prussia to somewhat Old Prussia. It was as though the times seemed so near, but always out of reach. Whenever I think of how the countries of Hetalia must feel, the first word that comes to mind is "_Lost_". Not that "_I don't know who I am or what I need to do_" lost. I see the, "_It's just like yesterday, but I can never get that back. No matter how clear the water's image is, it is still only a reflection_". (*Author is tearing up as they muse over the times*)

Glorious wars, the love of fellowman and Nation, where did it go? It has seemed to slip away from us in these fast paced times. We forget about the very things that made us who we are. Even in America, we must hold the Prussians high, for our constitution is based on the great morals of the amazing Frederick the Great of the awesome Prussia. Freedom of Religion and the equality of all peoples originated within Prussia. Long live Prussia, Great Frederick may he rest in peace.

Okay, now that that is aired out, His Character song. Actually, this is very heartfelt in my opinion, no matter how pathetically titled it is.

* * *

_You, hey you_

_Chase after it _

_**Rifle and blood**_

_**Fall down into Hell **_

_**Over the edge**_

_Anywhere _

_**Dead or**__** alive **_

_**Snatch away tomorrow **_

_Kneel before me! Praise me! Give me praise! _

_Come here! Let me pet you! _

_I am so fucking awesome! Seriously! Like a little bird! _

_Little bird! It was riding on me! (Haahhahhahhahha!) _

_Fate (Surrender__) _

_Don't you understand? (Surrender) _

_Shout! (Surrender) _

_**Do you laugh at my fate**_

_Give to me_

_Don't you understand? _

_Love and hate_

_Everything is mine… _

_I wish him_

_I stare at it _

_Nice and hot_

_I will melt your heart _

_I will fry it! Pancakes! Maple syrup! It's the best! _

_Come here! I will share some with you! _

_I'm so damn happy! I'll do it! "The Awesome Me" Honor Award! _

_Three meals a day! You can eat it (Kesesesesesesesese) _

_Fate (Surrender__) _

_Don't you understand? (Surrender) _

_Shout! (Surrender)_

_Do you laugh at my fate_

_(The diary of the awesome me, bird month *piyo* day _

_I was really awesome today too! _

_Roar across the world, my song that is written by me, for me! _

_**I won't let Austria act so smug now **_

_**Hungary has to appreciate me now **_

_Italy, will you listen to it? _

_You'll tell me what you think of my awesome song! _

_Hey West! Having beer is really tasty after singing! _

_What? There's still more? Really! _

_Alright! I'll battle through another round!) _

_It's me! My entry on stage! I want to do whatever the hell I want! _

_Hand it over! Burzenland! _

_Silesia, I will occupy it! Old man! Watch over me! _

_I won't lose! (Today I'll stay around here!) _

_Email friends! I'm mass recruiting! *Niyo niyo* I'm waiting! _

_Being alone is too much fun! (__**Too much fun too much fun**__…) _

_Today too, I was awesome! I am the best! _

_I'll sleep alone! _

_Fate (Surrender__) _

_Don't you understand? (Surrender) _

_Shout! (Surrender) _

_**I am Prussi**__**a**_

* * *

I took one look at those lines and I just wanted to cry (again). The past, the past, the glorious past. How pitiful, the past we never lived. How much worse, the past that is gone. Ah, if I was a country, I'd be the most depressing country in the world. Anyway. Anyway, Rifle and blood. The past. How can I say that any different? The past is repersented by the wars. Is that not what histoy is? The bad things, or even the "Good" wars. Civil unrest to Revolution, but everything is soaked in the blood of many. The first few lines just show what he misses. He misses the fighting, the wars. Admit it, war is boring. How many people actually care about the war America is in and they DON'T have family in Iraq. Me, I feel as though it is just a fairy-tale. War? What war? Oh, THAAAAT war . . . whatever. It has no impact on me, and it never will. WWII, war was everyday life! Rationing civilians. War bonds. The very real fact that you could be attacked at any point in time. Now we _BORROW_ the money . . . WTF! WHY ARE WE BORROWING MONEY! AMERICA IS IN A TRILLION $$$$ DEBT AND WE ARE BORROWING MONEY! BORROW MEANS THAT YOU RETURN IT STUPID GOVERNMENT! WE CAN'T EVEN PAY BACK OURSELVES! *sighs* Not only that, America has never been attacked. EVER! Ony back in the 1800s (WWII doesn't count because Hawaii was a territory that the government STOLE for selfish purposes. Not America). But he misses it. Poor Gilbert, I miss it too.

Snatch away tomorrow, that was the best line they could have ever used. Seriously, _taking tomorrow_ can be defined two ways. One: I'm going to kill you, bye-bye". Two: Staying encircled in the past. Why go for tomorrow, take it away. Let the present stay, let it never fade away. Let tomorrow be forgot, for the world is turning today.

Now the next line is a CLEAR historical remark. Bloody WWII (in more ways than one). Prussia was disolved after WWII, even though it lives on in the hearts of the Gremans. Then Prussia has, in a sense, disappeared altogether due to the fall of the Berlin Wall. Allies are so selfish. No matter what you are taught, the other European Allies wanted the wall down so they could remove Russia's foothold in Western Europe. So instead of being all for saving the Prussians, they did it to keep themselves safe. Bloody bastards. America being a main leader in the "Tear Down the Wall" Campeign. But the GDR (German Democratic Republic) was the one who wanted it. They just went to their Soviet higher-ups to ask permission! Hence, East Prussian government descided this on its own. The final death of Prussia was the fall of the Berlin Wall. The only reason Prussia is still there is because the locals still separate themselves by East and West.

Now, character development. Prussia does care about the other countries. Yes, a very emotional guy, he actually cares about what they think. Also, what friend doesn't want to better his buds? You can kinda say he is one of those "Tough-Love" kind of guys. It pisses him off that Austria is so frugal and he wants him to be _normal_? (Note the question mark for obvious reasons XD). Then there is Hungary. Let's admit it, whether it is a crush or not, he admires her. She is the most manly character of all Hetalia, how can that be denied? Seriously, even if girls can't grow penises, they are all in the mind anyway! He looks up to her and just wants her to appretiate him and what he does. Sure, being a hoodlum and stealing her boyfriend's virginity wasn't a real good start, but you get me.

He has good motives, though he is stupid. This also ties in with his line "Too much fun, too much fun" where he is talking about being alone. Seriously, Germany doesn't spend much time with him as he is usually with Italy. Who else does he have a background with? France, they're alright, but if you look at the CD drama, he doesn't really like him Admit it Gilbert, you're just as big of a perv! Though that animosity may be from the Seven Years War when France sided with Austria and left Prussia with England (Though England did help Prussia more than Austria in the War of Austrain Succession). There is spain, but they don't seem to get along all too well. None of the Bad Touch Trio now that I think about it . . . hm . . . and you guys are friends!

Anyway, the only two people he is extremely close to who he has had a long history with are Austria and Hungary. Seriously, all three of the pairings are canon. PrussiaXHungary, PrussiaXAustria, and, of course, HungaryXAustria (Dur-dur-dur, that one is just so canon *rolls eyes*).

Okay, I will be frank here, I am sorry, but this will get a little into a personal taste. Please do not be offended with these statements as I have a very strong connection to Prussia (FYI: I am French, Dutch, Prussian [Yes PRUSSIAN, amazing my grandmother traced our lines back that far], English, Russian, Spanish, Swiss, German, and Native American), so if these seem antagonistic, I deeply apologize. The Frtz/Prussia pairing . . . no. I am sorry, but when you even throw kissing into it it ruins the relationship. As before mentioned, it is a Father/Best freind relationship and it can't go farther than that. I am serious. There are 3 Fritz/Prussia fics whith the whole nine yards and I can't read any of them (In case you are wondering, I did try). The fact is that the historical and character context is blown from the water and expanded in size like a raft! First off, Gilbert isn't like that. As far as I know, he only has sex with countries. Second, OLD FRITZ IS CALLED OLD FOR A REASON! *uses mind bleach* WHY! WHY PEOPLE! THAT ISN'T HOT!

* * *

Now, on to the CD dramas! YAY!

Alright, here are a few things I got from the summeries of the CD dramas (sadly because Youtube is a b****). Gilbert is a fast learner, though that seems hard to believe, it may not be too farfetched. In the first one where he actually STARTS the blog, It is stated that it was _Troublsome_ which gives a sense of technological illiteracy. But by the end of the drama he is all about blogging (mostly due to Italy's comment where he flatters him).

The second drama is where he is coersed into buying a panda doll from Yao. Okay, that shines a new light on his love of cute things. There is even another one where he talks about how cute Latvia is. Awwww, how sweet. That's also the main reason why he likes Ita-chan too though, SOOOOO CUUUUUUTE! But that's drama 5.

Then there is one where he talks about going to Austria's house and getting attacked by Hungary. Poor Prussia, you're turning into the next Canada. No one wants to spend time with you . . . for different . . . reasons . . . Oh, and PrussiaXAustria fans around the world were happy! After Gilbert was knocked unconcious, Austria was all worried and cried out his name~ Ahhhhh . . . *20 fanfictions are now in progress*

Anyway, the fouth one is a repeat of the second. He gets another panda, this time from Hong Kong, and no one likes them. BUT THEY CUUUUUTE! Hahahahaha!

FINALLY! Character interactions outside of what I discussed! Russia-Prussia relations. What is the first reaction? BAD! Okay, thank you. Anyway, through historic reasoning, we can determine that their relationship is for shit due to the Cold War. Anyway, Italy posts about Prussia's bird (Which he didn't notice before . . .) and then they reach a topic of touching Latvia (*PEDO SIREN BLARES*) when Russia posts how cute Latvia is and Prussia responds promptly with a "FUCK OFF!"

The sixth one is an anouncment, so excuse me if I skip it.

The 7th is a random conversation with Italy where cats are brought up and Gilbert goes on a story about how he was attcked by cats as he slept (Though it was quite overexaggerated). At the end of it, Russia posts that he'd like to be in a warm place like Greece to sleep. Prussia then warns him about being attacked by cats. How kind of you Gilbert XD

In the 8th, Gilbert goes to England for a meal and takes a picture of Arthur all happy someone came to eat his food (Poor England, maybe if it wasn't so dry *Victim of English Scone*). At the picture of England with his food, all the countries lament for Gilbert's suffering and France helps with the taste.

The 10th (9th a commercial WTF, ISN'T THIS A BLOG!) is posted with pictures of the other countries . . . WHY THE HELL IS AMERICA WITH SEYCHELLES! . . . At the beach no less -.- . Ookay, so Canada gives him maple syrup and it is from god himself. Also Gilbert is a poor swimmer . . . YOU HAVE NO WATER NEAR YOU, WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED!

Then there is the 11th where Vash comes in and has some _buisness_ *wink wink nudge nudge* to do with Gilbert. Gilbert says he wants to do it tomorrow and falls asleep on the Swiss man dreaming about something that deals with Feli and Elizabeta.

In the 12th, Ludwig is asleep, Gilbert sneeks a picture and posts it on his blog and Italy and Russia comment goodnight. I also believe that Russia asked if it was warm where he was and Prussia responded that it was actually quite cold.

After that, Prussia posts a blog to Old Fritz telling the old dude to watch over him from heaven. Okay, this is something a son would say to his father. Please watch over me from heaven. That is the sweetest thing eva. With that, Prussia drops ice cream on his laptop and thus ends his computer. He updates on his cellphone and the drama ends.

* * *

**Overall thoughts:**

Prussia is a very human character, more so than the other countries. He is a very verstile character when it comes to pairings and he can go with almost anyone. He may have a grudge against Russia, but he does talk to him (which is actually kinda sweet of him) and he loves to play. Cute things are awsome and he doesn't seem to remember his bird . . . :/ That one is really odd. Though he is over exagerated, he is thuroughly human, maybe that comes with being an unofficial country, you lose something.

I hope you enjoyed, excuse my rants. My brother and I are hard core Prussians of America and we bid you all good night! (It's night here, so sue me X3)

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_http: / / www. History world. net/ wrldhis/ Plain Text Histories. asp? History id= aa54" 1-3_

_Himaruya, Hidekaz. "Hetalia [Maria Theresa and the War of Austrian Succession]." __Hetalia Scanlations__. Web. 25 Aug. 2010. http: / / aph. starry- sky. com/ mrt. html ._

_Himaruya, Hidekaz. "Hetalia Scanlations". August 29, 2010 http : / / aph. starry - sky. com / matome _ heta. html._

_Himaruya, Hidekaz. "Hetalia Scanlations [Maria Theresa and the Seven Years War]". August 29, 2010 http : / / aph. starry - sky. com / 7_s. html._

_Himaruya, Hidekaz. "Hetalia Scanlations [Liechtenstein's Journal or Swiss Dopiness]". August 29, 2010 http : / / aph. starry - sky. com/ rih. html._

_Himaruya, Hidekaz. "Hetalia Scanlations [Christmas Bloodbath part 5]". August 29, 2010 http : / / aph. starry - sky. com/ chrismas_bonsai5. html._

_Himaruya, Hidekaz. "Hetalia Archives [Marukaite Chikyuu (Prussia)]". August 29, 2010 http : / / hetalia. wikia. com/ wiki /Marukaite_Chikyuu_(Prussia)._

_Himaruya, Hidekaz. "Hetalia Archives [Character Song (Prussia)]". August 29, 2010 http : / / hetalia. wikia. com/ wiki /My_Song_That_Is_Written_By_Me,_For_Me._

_YouTube - [APH] 7 Years War~The Battle of the Dying Heroes(chorus) [Eng,romaji Sub & ä¸__,æ__—__¥å__—__å¹__•__]. __YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.__ Web. 30 Aug. 2010. http : / / www. youtube. com/ watch?v=99-GNEbVUv0._

_ORESAMA NO BLOG.__Prussia's Written Blog (English)__. Web. 31 Aug. 2010. http : / / spazzy. starry - sky. com/ oresamanosite/ ._


	6. Mini-Dissection: Canada

**Matthew Williams/ Canada**

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Okay, I REALLY need a break from my rant. Just a little note however, if you like the dub, you do not NEED to read my rant. If you agree with me, tell me what you think needs more work or something, but just because I post something does NOT mean you MUST/NEED to read it. The dub just makes me mad thinking about it, so, BACK TO DISSECTIONS.

This one is titled a mini-dissection since it will be a minor character and there is really not much for him. So, say hello to Canada! And please don't say _"who"_. Anyway, I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for here, but I'll figure it out as I go along. ^^; But I do have a fairly good idea. Btw, thank evemiliana for this~! I love Canada too~!

* * *

Canada's profile:

**Name:** Matthew Williams

**Nation:** Canada!

**Gender: **Male

**Birthday:** July 1

**Hair Color:** Blonde, we'll stick with that

**Eye Color:** His eyes are violet in the manga but blue in the anime, yet most people recognize him with violet eyes. I'll go with the giant wave of fandom at this point (and because I also prefer the difference between him and America) and I'll say _Violet_.

**Height:** Unknown . . . . . _WHAT!_

**Personality on wiki** (I wish I had more sources -.-): _In contrast to his brother, Canada is shy, sensitive, and hates fighting. Despite this, he is often mistaken for his brother and has found himself in trouble for incidents that America has caused. When he's not being mistaken for his brother, all the other nations tend to forget that he exists. He is also passive aggressive and was once able to make America cry by arguing with him for over three hours and pointing out every single one of his faults. It is also implied in a chapter he loves maple syrup as he is shown offering America some for his coffee._

_He has a pet bear named Kumajiro, but even it forgets about him. In return, Canada cannot ever remember his bear's exact name._

* * *

Okay, there you go. I know what I'm looking to prove! Ookay, so, there isn't a lot of canon material on Canada, mostly due to the fact that he _is_ overlooked in real life historical events. Yeah, I'm in American History this year for school and guess what; _England _gets the credit for burning down the White House of America. What? What? *hugs Canada* I AM SO SORRY! When my teacher said that I interjected with, "_CANADA!_ GET IT POLITICALLY CORRECT!" And ever heard of Canada in WWI or II? No? Neither do I O.o . . . Canada actually had a big role in the wars and are rarely ever mentioned as being Canadian, mostly they are clumped with either the English or Americans depending who's trench/flank they were supporting. Sad? I find it so.

What I do have to say is, I feel really horrible for not having songs for him. His Marukaite Chikyuu is in _INSTRAMENTAL!_ That _is_ symbolic, but can't really use the music to determine who he is since it's the original version, Italy taken out.

What I love above everything else is that the voice actor of America plays Canada, which is so cute! I mean, every time America talks to Canada, that's the voice actor talking to HIMSELF! I would love to be part of a one-person conversation! But then again I'd get bored . . . and lonely . . . never mind. What I want to point out about the voice though is, even though he is shown yelling at one point in the anime, Canada still has a whispery, soft voice. All I can say is, poor Canada.

With the lack of music, I'll dive right into the anime, da?

The one thing I have an issue with is how they change his appearance. Yes, I know it was to make him look more like America . . . That's the problem! Canada is _CANADA_! Yes, people mistaken him, but that's mostly because of the glasses. Obviously, Light Hair + Glasses = America. Well, Canada has those. I can only say that, I do not have a _HUGE_ issue with it. It does bother me, but you get used to the change.

I'm going to start off with Episode 49 of the anime, since that is where we get way more of the Canada character interactions, though it isn't long. I realize he was first in episode 35, but that's all the _"Missing Persons"_ banter between the Allies, oh. Th scene with Cuba! *face palm*

Remember how quiet Canada is, that doesn't mean he's a total push over. I'm sorry, but if I was going to curse out my brother and he had a chainsaw going, I'd totally chicken out (depending on which brother XD). But there is a recorded argument that the brothers get into where Canada spends _THREE HOURS_ ranting about how imperfect Alfred is and literally brings the superpower to tears.

So, episode 49 it is. In this episode we see Canada sulking at his table when his bear comes over. Sadly, Canada doesn't remember his bear's name and his bear asks who he is in return. Ouch. At least the bear doesn't mind being called numerous different names . . . as far as we know. Anyway, Matthew goes to his bear for help . . . . seriously? You ask the bear who forgets who you are in a span of 30 seconds how to make yourself more memorable? I'm sorry Canada.

I must say, however, Canada _is_ like his brother. Did you see that pose he did with his hands on his hips? Or how about the fists of determination? Yeah, we haven't seen those somewhere else before *looks at America*. So Canada puts a maple leaf on his head only to have it covered by an American flag. A little thing I want to point out: The brothers, before and after Alfred throws Mattie back a couple dozen feet, have the same styled faces. Like almost exact. And look at the eyes! They're the same! Pushing the family resemblance there, huh?

The next time is episode 52, the final Hetalia – Axis Powers episode before it goes to Hetalia Word Series. I must say, you can tell the voice actor does both of the North American brothers from the scene at the temple. It was so KAII! Anyway, back to Canada: In this particular episode we get England mistaken Canada for America . . . again. France seems to be one of the few characters who can tell them apart. Anyway, the two get in a fight and Canada wants to tell them off. He musters up the courage and says: _"I suppose you're right"_. . . . . Fight on Canada, fight on.

Then there's Cuba, back to apologize for beating Canada up before. Here is, yet another, push for brotherly similarities. Canada, LOVES ice cream! Just like some other country whom was stupid enough to get sent back in the middle of war because he flipped over ice cream. And Canada LAUGHS like his brother. Oh geez, this helps my little analysis. XD So Canada is just like his brother, huh? I'll get there, I'll get there.

In the episode directly following that one, Canada and America play catch. AWWW I need to reveal it _NOW_? Oh well. Canada and America are seriously neck deep in sibling rivalry. This episode _proves_ it for me. Look at it. America and Canada playing catch, Canada is trying to have some quality time, Alfred is seriously showing off . . . and battering Matthew to bits in the process. Hahahahaha, I feel so bad for Mattie.

The thing is, with all of those episodes, Canada is always left under America's shadow. Not only that, he gets it in the end most of the time. When he tries to tell his brother to stop picking fights, (pfft, like that will ever happen) he gets scared out of his mind when a chainsaw is pulled on him. He's too quiet and timid and a total pacifist. He feels as though he can never outshine his brother. Still, he really does care about him. And the reason America slaps the flag on his brother's forehead? Same reason :P

* * *

**So my final analysis:** Canada wants to stand out so he doesn't always have to be _the OTHER America_, sadly the line "Canada is America's hat" seems to play a little too true. However, the brothers do care about each other, they have to. If they didn't, Canada's words wouldn't affect Alfred, and Mattie wouldn't keep forgiving him for his stupidity.

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Hope you enjoyed. I like the Dissections MUCH better. I think I'll do England next, unless I get another request. And Cuba, I'M STILL WORKING ON ITA-CHAN!


	7. Mini-Dissection: Viewers

Whoa whoa, I hate doing these things where it's a notice without an actual chapter, makes me feel like a bitch for ever really posting these, but seriously, even if it is to rant, GET AN ACCOUNT IF YOU'RE GONNA ADDRESS ME! I hate having to get all of your hopes up on a new chapter when it's just me face-palming at somebody taking this the wrong way. And seriously, guys, my one chapter on the Funi dub had so many anonymous reviews bashing me out that I am seriously thinking about stopping the entire anonymous review thing (And fyi, I deleted you all). I keep it up, not so you can be squirrelly little British Protestors and bash on me without having to hear retaliation, but for those who have GOOD INPUT or creative criticisms and do not happen to have an account. I would feel like a total dick for turning it off, but if you address me, ask me a question, chew me out, say something even remotely conversational, GET AN ACCOUNT. Even a temp account that you're most likely never gonna use again. It's just that I hate it when people wanna complain about something I said and have to do it in a way where they don't have to take responsibility.

Specifically, Fleur-de-lis. You can look into the reviews and find what they have to say about my Canada review. But seriously, I was only stating facts of what I knew, historical and modern references, and THE CHARACTER! Why is it, that you HAVE to think I am talking about your nation, your country, or even your "race" so-to-speak in a nationally partisan way! This is a CHARACTER DISSECTION! NOT COUNTRY DISSECTION! IF IT WAS, THE ENTIRE WORLD WOULD BE SEARCHING TO KILL ME!

* * *

"_Sometimes we have to pin Canadian flags to our backpacks so no one treats us snootily in other countries."_

* * *

Heyo, I am an American, do you NOT think I would know how utterly and completely stupid we are! Americans have such BAD reputations that European and other nations like in Eastern Asia treat tourists like crap. So while Canadians are pinning Canadian flags to their backpacks, there are actually Americans who are doing research on Canada so when they travel, they can lie and say they're Canadian -_-. Is that proof enough that we KNOW the world hates us? It's not that we're totally ignorant, though 98% of the population is, it's just that they want to feel better about themselves. And while you say:

"_We get insulted by Americans for being less awesome then them."_

We are actually rather self-conscious on how the world views us. And everything falling back on Americans, especially the world economy today, as we know it, IS AMERICA'S FAULT!

* * *

"_have you ever listened to radio, sitting in Athens and heard every second song of this american channel is canadian?__"_

* * *

Uh no, I don't listen to the radio, because I hate the songs coming out. Especially Justin Beiber! If the kid wants to be famous so bad, WRITE YOUR OWN FACKING SONG! But I LOVE Canadians (for the most part) because they ARE mellow people. I say one thing about America, to an American, and I have someone screaming in my face so loudly that their saliva is flying quite literally - _- And one of my favourite songs is "Canadian Please" simply because it is so endearingly CUTE! Also I find it amazing that these people did it for their love of their country for Canada Day. I respect that a lot.

* * *

"_We fought in both world wars, yes, how did you not know?"_

* * *

HOW WOULD I KNOW! I live in America, their textbooks are the most propaganda I have ever been in hand-to-hand contact with. It is disgusting, I feel like I just touched manure whenever I have to open a history book. Canada is never listed as a fighter in WWI or WWII they are clumped with the British. Why? Because America is a dickhead country like that. I'm sorry, but it's true! I never knew Canada was in the World Wars by name. I just sorta assumed until I found a BRITISH DOCUMENTARY! Thank the British, not the asshole Americans. They really don't give a damn on accuracy if you hadn't noticed.

* * *

_"And has never begun a war, only sided with what seemed morally right, rather then money inducing?"_

* * *

Am I sersiously gonna do this? Should I? Okay, yeah, I'm gonna make a jab at Canadians for a moment: And your ties with Britain NEVER had any influence at all, huh? How about Frace? Canada was involved in Vietnam. America was involved at Vietnam. Why was America in Vietnam? Because the French said "If you don't help us get back our colony, we are gonna go to the Soviet Union." And Are you telling me Canada just got involved because killing children and women and elderly (oh yeah America, I am so digging into your eyes right now) was "morally right"? Canada did it because big brother France cried. In WWI, they sided with the British. In WWII they sided with the British. Why did they get involved the second Britain got involved. Morally right? England condoned the concentration camps in Germany as did everyone else. The only time Canada got involved with the war was when England got involved with the war.

* * *

"_I don't mean to pry on this or to seem mean to you but that kind of hurt 'the line "Canada is America's hat" seems to play a little too true'."_

* * *

Hun, I never mean any of this to sound like a total ass, but this is, AGAIN, a CHARACTER DISSECTION! I only happen to bring up random historical events that occurred as I go along, sharing little tidbits of information here and there. I like people saying "Oh, I learned something new today." That's all it really is there for -_-. When I was talking about the "America's hat" line, why does it immediately have to connect to the real world? This is Hetalia. Hetalia is an anime. Hetalia is an anime with characters. Matthew is constantly dragged around by Alfred. He tries to speak up only to be drowned out by America's big mouth. However, because it IS a character dissection, I am NOT talking about the piece of land you live on. I am sorry, that's all it is to me. I am talking about Matthew Williams; this quiet young man with a polar bear that happens to have the second name of Canada. All I meant by the line is **Matthew** is constantly being overlooked because of **Alfred**!

I know I seem to be ranting, but honestly, sit back and look at the title before you start writing such a hurt review. And honestly, pretty much everything you said I already know. Which may be why I sound really peevish right now, I hate people assuming I don't know shit. All of this is rather obvious. But being an American, I have never been clumped with Americans. Actually, I have been told by Asians and Europeans of various heritage that I seem more European than American. I take that as a compliment. Don't say anything hurts, because it really shouldn't. One of my biggest pet peeves is hypersensitive people. They have trouble stepping back out of a situation. I may be coming off aggressive towards others at this time, but really, I'm not trying to. I have a bad habit of being loud and emphasizing with CAPSLOCK AND TOO MANY EXCLAIMATION POINTS! I just like being lazy and pressing buttons.

* * *

Anyway, one bead of light I can take from this (if you wanna call it that) I need to start adding disclaimers to keep people from complaining -_- I hate disclaimers.


	8. Arthur Kirkland

_**Arthur Kirkland / United Kingdom**_

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I feel like an ass for getting all your hopes up, so I decided to get back to this. You may all beat me senseless when I'm done for taking almost an entire YEAR to fulfill this. Yes, I am a royal pain in the ass. Also, warning guys, my spelling checker is going off and on so I will, like always, have misspellings.

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**DISCLAIMER: **While the country named is used and some historical aspects brought up in the length of this dissection, it by no means falls back upon the REAL UK. This is Hetalia and this dissection is only applicable to the character found in said anime. THANK YOU!

* * *

**Name:** Arthur Kirkland

**Nation:** United Kingdom or England

**Gender:** Male

**Birthday:** UNKNOWN (wait . . . wut?)

**Hair colour:** Blonde

**Eye colour:** Green

**Height:** 175 cm (as tall as my mom!)

_England is a fanciful, blunt, obstinate former pirate who used to torment Spain. In modern times he claims to be a __gentleman; however he is cynical, sharp-tongued, prone to rough speech and yearns for the golden years. He often uses British vocabulary, such as 'bloody' and 'git'. He is noted for being horrible at cooking which has caused America, his former charge, to have "bad" taste in food. England is also, apparently, the "king of losing things", and France has described him as "somehow extremely useless when it comes to matters not pertaining to himself or America". He can be described as "spacey" because of his strong belief in magic, spirits, fairies, and various other fantasy-related creatures. He has the ability to communicate with supernatural beings, and is not limited to creatures from his homeland, being able to interact with various youkai and spirits from Japanese folklore. He also happens to have fantasy friends, such as a flying bunny, unicorns, fairies, gnomes, and Captain Hook. Despite this, England often ridicules America's belief in aliens and Tony. According to the author's notes, England's interests include: embroidery, craftsmanship, literature, rock music, and giving scathing criticisms to America's movies._

_He does not know how to express himself, leading to others often misunderstanding him. He is also depicted as being self-deprecating or tsundere. Despite his cynical, realistic view on the world, he is said to be a romanticist. When drunk, his personality will change from that of a gentleman to a bitter and violent delinquent. Also, every year when the Fourth of July comes around, his condition collapses._

_According to a blog post, the island nation and former pirate may not be able to swim. This would be a reference to English people in movies, and possibly to that, historically, many pirates could not swim._

_It has been mentioned that England has brothers, one representing __**Scotland**__, and the others presumably __**Wales**__ and __**Northern Ireland**__, who hate him and used to drive him away with stones and arrows when he was a child, and even went as far as to mail him curses._

* * *

Why is it so much just simply falls into my lap? Alright. Anyway, as we see, England is a total prude. He has no people skills, he can't hold his liquor (how in the world were you a pirate!) and can't cook to the point fans place censor bars over whatever he concocts. Still, he is incredibly cute in an apron, no*?

Anyway, we don't have much to go on with England's brothers and family life due to Wales, Scotland, and Ireland (both North and mainland) are not permanent characters. Actually, we haven't even seen prototypes of them either as far as I know. However, looking at what we have seen of England's family (other than episode 39 where we see his bad history with his brothers).

Now, first, lemme get back on track with the Character songs! I know that, like Prussia's, there were character songs missing. I apologize, because at the time I made it, Prussia's **Mein Gott** had yet to be aired. I may go back one of these days and add it in; I think the song helps my argument all the more, personally speaking. Now, back to ARTHUR'S character songs!

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_**The seven seas are like my back yard  
Romance and plundering**__  
I manage holiday houses in India and Hong-Kong_

_(Fuu~)  
Tea is delicious!_

_I'll keep going in a gentleman-like fashion!  
Being smart is important!  
__**I'll show you my composure**__  
From the cradle to the grave!_

_There are things I believe in!  
Fairies, curses, ghosts, magic  
My sarcasm is in good taste  
Laugh, Laugh, go forward!_

_By reading the seven stars  
I can predict the tomorrow  
Curry, Chinese cuisine, my holiday houses meals  
Meat pie is delicious!_

_I shrink away from uncivilized behavior  
Both manners and tradition,  
Wit is good as well  
No pain, no gain!  
Orders are orders!_

_I believe, that's right!  
In phenomena, Busby's chair, predictions  
Ancient ghost-summoning  
My ultimate weapon, come forth!_

_[A simple diet is a gentleman's prudence  
If problems arise, use some spices your way!]  
[Don't say it tastes bad! That Roast Beef too is an English Cuisine!]  
[Afternoon tea is the best!  
By the way, putting in condensed milk is military style! ...Isn't that right?]_

_**All's well that ends well! That's right!**__  
A winning army will not recognize defeat!  
My sarcasm is in good taste  
__**Laugh, Laugh, go forward!**_

* * *

Now, analyzing the bolded lyrics as always, the first words are _"The Seven Seas are like my backyard, Romance and plundering."_ Obvious history is obvious folks, in this case, we have an undeniable glimpse into England's privateer past. He obviously holds strong sentimental ties to that time, even going to far as to add Romance in the same thought.

Now children, I probably don't have to tell you that England is among the countries to date. Especially if you live in, say America, where you will be successfully celebrating your 236th birthday. England, though his birthday has not been set will be around 522, at LEAST. And that is simply based off of a detailed map of Britain that was actually recreated in the year 1490, not made. So, as I said, England is pretty old, and that is only considering the Greek explorer Pytheas who had "Discovered" England and explored a great deal of it. Not at all counting the people who had first created a culture on that island nation perhaps hundreds of years prior. When you think of it, England would have met Greece's mother!

"_I'll show you my composure,"_ is such a perfect line to use. It gives that feeling of him having to prove something, doesn't it? Like, 'I'll show you!' sort of vibe. Now, I wonder, who in the world (heehee, pun) is he addressing? Is it one person alone, or is it a number of people? And why is he showing them his _composure_? Why must his indifferent, mature air be the subject he's getting at? I will answer these . . . later. Bear with me poppets, we'll get there soon enough!

Then, skipping forward, he _"All's well that ends well! That's right!"_ we see this sort of . . . desperation? I'm not sure if that is how you all see it, but it seems jammed in there, like he's desperately trying to build moral, perhaps for himself. Oh man, you people may strangle me for making you wait so long, but just tie it down a moment. At this time I will add the last line, _"Laugh Laugh, go forward,"_ as one of those hold lines.

Before you can all beat me, let's race over to Pub and Go!

* * *

_My name is England.  
My official name is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.  
It will come up in the test later!_

_**Today it rains, yesterday it rained,  
And I bet my hat tomorrow, it will rain yet again...**__  
But umbrellas aren't for me, as you can see  
I am British gentleman, gentleman, gentleman~_

_Pub- Pub- Pub and GO!  
Fish and chips!  
__**All those that I hate, a curse is sent your way**__  
Ms. Fairy, Ms. Fairy!  
Aha-ha-ha-haa~  
Here I go again~!_

_**I'm glad that I met you!  
I mean, that is, I'm being sarcastic!**__  
A face is floating from that wall over there!  
Hard to Starboard! (Hard to Starboard!)  
And then my sorcery is white, black (Whooo~!)  
__**Tea is obviously better than coffee**__  
Hot-hot-hot-hot-ho—...!  
First of all, pour the milk ahead_

_You'll die if you sit there~  
Busby's chair  
Dragged straight down to hell  
Busby, Busby  
Gather, everyone – Unicorns, Pixies,  
With the Panjandrum, let's go – to battle (to battle)_

_Hey you guys, here we go!  
Here we go? Let's go!_

_Pub- Pub- Pub and GO!  
Fish and chips!  
If you drink you'll understand~!  
You'll understand if you drink~!  
Ms. Fairy, Ms. Fairy!  
A-ha-ha-ha-haa~  
So I shall proceed~!_

_Abracadabra~  
I'm gonna curse you with all my might!  
Abracadabra~  
Long live, the Queen!_

_Pub- Pub- Pub and GO!  
Fish and chips!  
All those that I hate, a curse is sent your way!  
Ms. Fairy, Ms. Fairy!  
Aha-ha-ha-haa~  
Here I go again~!_

_(Ab- Ra- Ca- Da- Bra~)  
__**Idiot (x31)  
America, you idiot~!**_

_(Ab- Ra- Ca- Da- Bra~)_

* * *

Can I be 100% honest here? I LOVE this song! Not only is it such a classic, upbeat tune with England's musical (sexy) voice, but the lyrics! You should all know that, though a good portion of the song, England's drunk. He is wasted. That means, he's saying things he normally WOULDN'T say!

_"This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought"_ (Samuel Johnson).

What I'm getting at here is that, these feelings are unhindered by his persona he sets up. He loses himself in alcohol in this pub and starts spewing out this, supposed, nonsense. The most widely distributed truth serum is alcohol in a measured quantity. Now, looking at the lyrics, we see some things of England you may have thought you'd never see.

Remember in the last song he was talking about keeping his composure? This entire song, as I said, take place in a pub. I do not know many people who keep their composure when drunk or drinking, so obviously, the Composure is used to HIDE something. And why do most people drink? Because life gets them down. They are attempting to "drown their sorrows". Maybe take a load off, relieve some stress. Does this remind you of any of the other character dissections? **COUGHCOUGHAMERICACOUGH**!

The first line bolded is talking about the weather. Casual enough, but it sounds a little like complaining. And did you blokes know, people up in colder parts of the world where the sun is gone for weeks and months at a time are more prone to depression and suicidal thoughts? I'm not saying England is suicidal, oh heavens no, but I would think all the stress from his life, added with dreary rainclouds day after day is getting to him. Doesn't it sound like it? Can you picture the scene? England sitting at the bar in this pub, drenched hat and coat on the seat beside him as rain pours outside. Not a very happy view, is it? But I think it sets the tone for where I'm going.

"_All those that I hate, a curse is sent your way."_ Now, shall I pull out something from earlier. Remember when I was talking about England's brothers? His brothers constantly mailed curses to him. And you don't exactly curse people you like, now do you? Obviously, this must be a family thing, no? His brothers cursed him constantly, poor kid, so now he sort of takes it out on the others around him.

"_I'm glad that I met you! That is, I'm being sarcastic!"_ HEEEY! Anyone else notice something here! Episode 39! What did he tell little America? "I'm glad that I met you too." Remember? Then he adds in his song that he's being sarcastic. Anyone else pick up the cover-up tones in that sentence? Even listening to the song, you hear this gently voice when he says the first sentence, then he quickly starts covering up, his speech becoming rushed and panicky. Obviously not totally intoxicated yet, but we're getting there, his true feelings peeping through. And remember who he said it to~? That'll play a very heavy role throughout the rest of this dissection.

Alright, the all out war between America and England: Tea vs. Coffee! He just can't let that go, can he? Is there possibly a reason why? How about the fact that this is America making his own decisions without England. Even combating Arthur's opinions in a war-like way. Now, why is England so vehement about this? Oh, you'll love the answer I've got for you, believe me~!

Now, our classic moment, "WHAAA! BAKABAKABAKA! AMERICA NO BAKA!" Why is America seeming to be the center of his attention? Why is it everything he says/does seems to be traced back to America? Oh man, you guys are all probably conjuring up your own things right now, but guys, I can promise you my final analysis will have absolutely NO USUK in it. This is looking at the character in a totally asexual light if you hadn't noticed, maybe with some pairing jokes here and there. I know I may also be a little biased with my saying I don't quite like USUK. To me, it ruins the relationship they DO have, and their relationship is really very endearing with a bitter aftertaste.

* * *

Now, I know I keep saying Episode 39, but episodes 39 and 40 are from The Battle for America scanlations**. Remember all the way back when I was talking about England's family? If we travel down a ways, we see an England talking with baby America when America asks if he can call England "Oniichan." Now, England suddenly stands frozen and we see his past sort of come rushing into his mind. There's a bird that was obviously sent by Scotland pecking at baby England's head, calling him a horrible little brother. Right below that, we see Spain, France, King Henry VIII and a messenger holding up a hex that says "From older brother". Look at England, and he's CRYING! He realizes that, absolutely no one cares!

Now, those of you who know Japanese know "Oniichan" is a term of endearment, even used to best friends who are like siblings. England starts crying, recall, and says "Just 'England' is fine. That's enough for me." He is so utterly touched by how sweet young America is, he falls into tears.

I'm gonna let it all out NOW. I don't think I need to dig up much more to state this finale with confidence. That scanlation should be enough for everything to fit, but I'll explain everything and add more to solidify this picture.

England has NEVER been loved or needed by anyone around him, even his own brothers! France would constantly tease him, his brothers scorned him, enemies were created everywhere, nothing he did ever made him a friend. England was, literally, alone and unloved. Even more so than Russia who still had his sisters by his side, though they are a dysfunctional family. England grew up, being driven away and isolated by his own family.

After all his years of such harsh treatment, became coarse and rather aggressive young man who had to harden his emotions, only knowing how it was to be hurt. Then, as years rolled by he arrived to America. Note, America was England's first colony, and England was actually one of the last to begin colonies in the New World. Back to Hetalia, he meets up with America and when he broke into tears. Why was he crying? Like before pounded into your skull, NO ONE LOVED HIM. Suddenly this child grows attached to him, almost immediately, being the first one ever to do so. This cracks straight through his shell he had spent centuries building around himself, bringing him to tears.

Because of this, he spoils America. We see this in the America's **Cleaning out the Storage*****scanlations. The Toy Soldiers form America's memories were HANDMADE! Each had his own face, own personality. Not only were they handmade, but by England himself, he could have easily just bought some at an English store, but he sat down and took the time to carve and paint every single one, as well as make the box. When he saw how happy it made America, he couldn't help but feel proud, even bragging a bit. And then the clothing when Alfred began growing up. You hear Alfred say "This looks _expensive_," meaning Arthur bought the best for his little brother. When you see him looking at America wearing the suit, he doesn't look smug, he looks overjoyed! Almost like "Ah! I knew that suit would be best!"

Finally, we get to the Revolutionary war and America's birthday. Why couldn't he pull the trigger? Why couldn't he make himself pull the trigger and force the colony to come back? He had Alfred right where he wanted him, why did he stop? If you look at the lines, they say "There's no point in firing, is there . . .?" There is no point to take Alfred back, even by force. He isn't needed anymore. He isn't _wanted_ anymore. And even if he took Alfred back at gunpoint, he wouldn't be _loved_ anymore.

During America's birthday, his condition is said to deteriorate. He tells America that he can't go to sleep for a week, he keeps remembering old things, he feels ill, has nightmares, can't eat, can't work. Pretty much, his life comes to a crashing halt once a year. To America, it's his birthday, to England, it's the day when he lost the only source of love he had. When Alfred makes a joke, it nearly makes Arthur's heart stop, the look on his face reading, "That's it?" like his entire world would shatter.

And going back to the lyrics as padding: _"All's well that ends well."_ Remember the desperation in that line that I said? Add that with the line _"Laugh, laugh, go forward!"_ is a man who has gone through everything, gained nothing. England was a privateer, a world power, a warrior, a big brother, and an outcast. After all these highs and lows, what did he come out to be in the end? Nothing really. He isn't rich, or a world power. He didn't have friends for a long, _long_ time afterwards, and ultimately has never really moved on with his life from the Revolutionary War (Before anyone posts on this, look back to the disclaimer, NOW). He's telling himself in those lines to cut his losses and get going already, even though he probably knows he can't. Or not so much can't move on as much as he can't let go.

Also, holding his composure, is a line most likely said to himself as well. Telling himself he won't let the past break him. He remains composed, this might also mean that he doesn't let anyone else get close to him in that manner ever again. He because calloused, much more than he was before meeting America as a child. He is cynical and tart, more bitter than anything, and the entire purpose of that is shown when he gets drunk. He is not a happy drunk, ranting about how he regrets ever letting America get so close to him (specifically helping him in the _French and Indian War_) in episode 26.

* * *

**Final Analysis: **England only wanted someone to love him, and not in the USUK way. He wanted to be needed by someone, and the first was America. His entire **personal** life was surrounded by America, coming to visit whenever he could, even if he had to leave the next day. In a brotherly way, he loved America, because America loved him. Ever since the end of that relationship, he has never had one quite like it, probably never will, and it has scarred him deeply. All he ever wanted was to _be_ wanted.

* * *

Well, that's the end of this, guys. I feel utterly traumatized now and I will honestly tell you, I started crying, literally, at least three times throughout this. I hope you guys enjoyed it, though this one was way depressing. I'm glad I successfully finished it. Peace out yo.

* * *

**WORKS CITED:**

*http : / / www. zerochan. net/ 137348

http: / / hetalia. shoutwiki. com/ wiki/ Absolutely_Invincible_British_Gentleman# Translated_Lyrics

http: / / hetalia. shoutwiki. com/ wiki/ Pub_and_GO!# Translated_Lyrics

**http: / / aph. starry-sky. com/ sntr. Html

***http: / / aph. starry-sky. com/ rrl. Html

(America's Birthday) http: / / aph. starry-sky. com/ indy. html


	9. Gilbert Beilschmidt REVAMP

_**Gilbert Beilschmidt / Prussia [2]**_

Hey, I'm doing a revamp of Prussia because there has been LOADS that came out for our favourite albino that wasn't around when I got to him before. I kind of feel like an ass now because of it, so this is an apology. I'll be using stuff that was in the first chapter of Prussia here, but also new stuff that I recently came across/found/came out. I believe we all know Prussia is a Human-orientated character; if you want his whole profile, go ahead back to the first chapter of him. He has a strong, strong bond to Fredrick the great, but it is also stated he is EXTREMELY loyal to his boss, whoever they may be. Loyal to a fault, no I don't think so, he knows right from wrong, but he also recognizes authority and understands he has no right to question his leader.

Now, I'll tell you here and now what my argument is for Prussia: he is more mature than we think. He actually has bouts where he takes on this unusually wise or elderly air and actually holds a semblance to an older brother. I'm going to pick up the song Mein Gott, since it wasn't released or present at the time of the first dissection, so I think it's only fair I do that before hopping into the scanlations. You know, the beginning always gives me chills, since I wear headphones all the time anyway. The music travels from one ear to the other that makes me visualize a pendulum in a clock swaying back and forth at a faster than usual rate. Compared to his Marukaite Chikyuu and "My Awesome Song . . ." it is relatively mellow. Keeping with his rock feel, it is much softer, calmer, and the very first lyrics are something to look at, here. As always, bolded means "LOOK AT ME!":

* * *

**Someone is calling,  
I'm being called**  
Alright, leave it to me; let's go  
More! More!

**To the east and to the west  
I'll keep running  
**If you desire it too,  
I'll come pet you

**That's right, if fighting is your only option  
Then that's what you'll have to do**

The awesome me's the most supreme! The strongest!  
The one who gets the last laugh, yeah!  
Is the awesome me, of course!

Danke! [Thank you]  
The best! The most fearsome!  
You guys can praise me  
I'll show you my massive dream  
A succession of victories for sure!

**Alone in my room**  
I'll write it today too  
**A memorial of the awesome me**  
More! More!

Hey little bird chirp for my sake  
It will heal me; niyo niyo!

This is bad, a panda that will bring happiness  
I won't be fooled

The awesome me will show up! Burn it up!  
I'll do whatever I want and I'll do it violently  
Old man, please watch over me!

Mein Gott! [My God]  
**In a pinch! Punch!**  
**Sometimes even a warrior starts shaking**  
(...I'll leave things at this point)  
A reverse in the situation, I'm going to be hasty!

All of the maps will someday be in these hands...  
I'll laugh as I run through

**That's right, it's not because I'm weak  
It's because I'm too strong**

The awesome me's the most supreme! The strongest!  
The one who gets the last laugh, yeah!  
Is the awesome me, of course!

Danke! [Thank you]  
**Everyone! Come here!  
Let's exchange email addresses?  
Being alone is too much fun**  
Everything will be in these hands! Just you wait!  
A succession of victories for sure!

(Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater  
Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater  
Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater

[Watch over me please, Father Fritz])

* * *

So, starting at the top, "Someone is calling, I'm being called". This goes back to my argument, he knows authority. Someone is calling him and he is expected to respond. Who is calling is a different question entirely. Is it reminiscence and being lost in his memories, or is it Germany upstairs calling for them to clean up the house? We will never know, but he responds promptly. There is more later with scanlations, so this is my weakest argument. However, with the next group of "Run to the East and to the West" etc, he says if it is commanded of him. Orders are the second closest thing to the word of God. Hell, maybe even take precedent when you look at actual events of real-world WWII and what the two of them were ordered to do. It must have torn Prussia up inside, no doubt in my mind.

Next is the couplet on fighting. This is another point I wanted to make: Prussia is an OLD MAN! Like Japan and China, they may look young but they are affected by age, just much, much, much, much more slowly. I mean, China can't touch his toes. Japan can't do a front bend. I mean, he literally died. But Prussia is still nowhere near as old as those two, so he's more like in the middle-aged stage. Pass his prime, but not ready to give it up just yet, and I personally can't see Prussia letting his body go over the years like China and Japan. It's quite canon that they are more for their comfort foods and not extraneous work out since (specifically Japan) has no wars to look forward to. His military is more like lounging on the couch at the minute, but we all still love you Japan (3)! Anyway, what I meant before getting off on that tangent is he doesn't fight. He's really smoothed over and calmed down. He considers fighting to be a last resort now even though he IS one of the strongest characters as stated in his character notes by Himaruya. We don't know how strong he is, but we can assume he's weaker than America since he lost that swimming race, and Russia since Russia is the only nation that the pits of Hell can send forth with the power to defeat America. And when I said I didn't see Prussia letting himself go, even though he is no longer a recognized nation, I think it's BECAUSE he's no longer a country that he would work to keep himself in shape. He has more to lose if he does not than, say, Japan and China. I'll tell you why I think he is still strong in a moment. Onward to more lyrics.

The next two "Alone in my room" and a "**MEMORIAL**" of himself. Now, alone in his room. No one comes to talk to him about politics, that's Germany's job. The only time he takes the forefront is when given permission by Germany himself, or the fact West cannot perform his duties because he's busy or the like. Since those cases are getting rarer, he is usually alone, left to his own devices, the poor dear. But what I focused on more was how it was called a Memorial, or even a memoir, I believe it should have been Memoir in the translation, but whatev. He feels a need to take this upon himself to write this because he is an intellectual. Prussia is an intelligent person, no way around it. He won too many wars to NOT be considered knowledgeable. Even more, he doesn't trust anyone else to write down the story of his life. Others hate him rather openly, so why would he risk his legacy to the likes of them. And even Germany! Everything Germany knows can be traced back to Prussia; however, it's not everything Prussia knows. This can be seen in the Omake of volume 4 where Prussia is giving Germany a lecture on war tactics he used back in his glory days, many of which are still usable today, and Ludwig is a grown adult. So Prussia withholds information, which is a curious feat for the lovable, loudmouth albino. But the word Memorial leads to Memoir. He wants to be remembered, not disappear in the sands of time, and this can also show a strong fear of dying. He is really only a living memory in Hetalia, so when we all stop remembering . . . what then?

"In a pinch! Punch!" will be added in later, so glance over it for a moment, as well as "Sometimes even warriors start shaking".

Next is how Prussia says it's because he isn't weak, but too strong. Prussia, as a character, is one of the strongest, as I said before. Not only that, but he's smart. He's not like America who goes for "cool" things, he is much more practical in his ideas and beliefs, and also, he is a top strategist, as even the canon material says. He isn't all "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" He learns and is constantly adding his new information to his battle plans. These lines are a direct link to real-world history. When I hear this line, I can see Prussia after he is dissolved "It's not because I'm weak. It's NOT because I'm weak!" Hit by depression and anxiety, also placed under forceful control of the abusive USSR, he'd have to keep his spirit alive. Maybe even remind himself of this to stay alive, seeing as canon media says countries that lose sight of their nation side, they can simply disappear. Prussia was dissolved because he WAS too strong. He was able to bounce back unbelievably fast, and attack with such power and skill that he has never lost a war. Someone might bring up Tannenburg, however Prussia did not lose the war, it was an undeclared draw, but he did lose the battle. There is a difference. And with Napoleon, you only win if you destroy their will, unless you do that, there isn't a victory. The other nations were utterly terrified of him coming back for his own revenge, even though he had nothing to do with Hitler or the Nazis at the time. He fought exceptionally hard, never giving up, East German soldiers of WWII fought on even after West surrendered to the Allies; his loyalty is unmatched.

The final ones are more about how human he is; even more proof he can't stand being alone. Since I drilled that last time, I won't spend too much time on these themes, just pointing them out for you to cross with the original.

* * *

Now, onto the lines I skipped. These actually link to a scene in my mind of the Hetalia 2010 Bloodbath. That one sure was interesting. But this scene on page six, Prussia had sent Austria to go pick up the phone on a bet that Roderich would get lost. He was simply teasing the other, the bet was too ridiculous. First off, the phone was simply in the room connected to the one they had been in when it started ringing, so Prussia knew he wouldn't have gotten lost, or so he thought. This situation isn't quite what he expected though. Another show of proof that he takes authority and is really more submissive than we all thought, when he answers the phone he says "Yeah, **Hello, I'm filling in for Germany, what do you need?**" He first answers with a complete "Hello" not the butchered "Hey", "Hi" or even a "What do you want". Then he doesn't address himself as "East Germany", "GDR" or even "Prussia" he is simply filling in because Ludwig is busy, and these are HIS duties, not Gilbert's. Another thing to point out, he says "GERMANY" not "West", so this is heavily formal for him since we have never ONCE heard him say "Germany" in any media besides this one. To top it all off, "What do you need" is an exceptionally methodical, punctilious way to ask what the one over the phone wants. This is a stark contrast to how many fans view Gilbert. He is troublesome, picking arguments and getting himself whacked often by Hungary. Who knows how many concussions the dummy has gotten? However, he has every capability to be a NATION. He isn't selfish, just self-centred, and that's only some of the time, he knows how to be a country and is very formal about it, it's a job he takes with both great pride and responsibility.

Now, you hear Cuba ranting over the phone; keep this line in the back of your head: "**Gather where there are people around . . .**" There is more after it, but this is really all I want you to focus in on, nothing is taken out of context. For those who don't know what is happening, Countries are being knocked unconscious by mysterious beings with aura-like powers and their bodies are strip-searched, clothing torn, etc. etc. Kinky shit yo. Anyway, during that line, Prussia sees a ribbon on the table he immediately knows to be Austria's. Now, this shows a peek into his previous life we don't get to see often in a serious light. When he picks up the ribbon, he doesn't have a face like "Wtf! Why is this here?" he has a face saying "Oh SHIT!" And behind him is a figure reaching for him. For an old man, Gilbert moves FAST. He only gets grazed, but knocked off balance and lands on the floor. He knows this guy to be the one who took Austria, and is legitimately concerned for his former rival's well-being. The guy keeps coming closer and Prussia tells him to hold it, to stay away, to not come closer. He looks pretty freaked out, but also frantic.

"In a pinch, punch" right?

The dark figure is suddenly airborne and crashes through a window.

HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN! You see in the next panel that Hungary and Germany JUST THEN enter the room, so it was neither of them. And when you see Prussia, he's just standing there, looking hella lot more calm than he did just before that guy went flying. This is speculation, since we don't EXACTLY know what happened, but I, **I, **_**IIIIIIIIIIII**_ (emphasis on the "I", this is a personal opinion), believe that Prussia just sucker punched that dark figure in the gut and sent him flying. He doesn't seem to like violence anymore either. Teasing, okay, pulling on cheeks, okay, stalking, OKAY! But he seemed exceptionally reluctant to attack, and really, it was only at the last minute that anything happened.

Now, Prussia then destroys the fan-depiction even more. He humbly thanks Hungary and Germany for arriving, saying that they saved him and that he was seriously scared for a moment there, and even saying that alone he probably would have lost. "Even warriors start shaking" Right? Now, my brother asked me why Prussia was saying he was saved if he just sent the Motherf**ker flying. Because of what Cuba told him, "Stay together, never be alone". That guy may come back, he may have reinforcements. Prussia knows nothing of this guy, but what he does know is that Alone = Danger. So when they show up, he lowers his guard significantly, showering them both with gratitude. He isn't all that self-centred and egotistic as we think, eh?

Another one in the 2011 Christmas special about how he knows respect and authority, he also knows kindness. When he first meets America to train him, he is extremely cordial. He takes America's hand and warns him about his style of training, telling him to watch his health and keep his strength up during the process. Looking at his face, he has this warm, big-brotherly feel to him; even America is thrown for a loop by how nice he is. Of course the undisciplined brat is put through trauma during their actual training, so he changes his mind, but I honestly believe that the Prussia he first met is the REAL Prussia. He is very kind, gives practical advice, and looks out for those under him, but nor does he coddle. Another example is on his blog where he tells Sealand "Sleep properly and eat well". His idea is tough-love. No wonder Germany is the way he is!

Now, a redo of the Ore-sama blog since I feel like my last overview was, for lack of better wording, shit.

* * *

Okay, now, to the original thought process, Gilbert here is technologically illiterate. He complains about how hard it is to get the website to work the way he wants and that it is too much trouble, his diaries are much simpler and get the job done just as well, but after getting encouragement from Italy, he wants to appear like an internet guru. Another proof that he can't work modern day tech quite right: the blurry picture of himself. He has issue with what we take for granted, just showing you how long this guy has been out of the business. I mean, what is the possibility that this is Prussia's first time ever using a computer for something more than a quick Google search? And seeing the date 2009, which is a LONG time to just stare at the laptop and scratch your head.

Here Germany even states how exceptional his brother is as a tactician and strategist, but this is right after he eats England's cooking and gets knocked out. He says Prussia lacks common sense, but my thought is more that he is no longer adept in the world. He is part of this world, but then he isn't, he's up-to-date, but then lagging so far behind. The only time he actually looks settled is in the WWII strips and back to the time he was a tyke. So when it comes to his current state, he isn't really in the flow of thing. Actually, I may say that he fits the proverb France said in the "Though I may depart, you shall remain" strip. This also will be in France's dissection but he even admits a German said it, I cried . . . so long . . . but he says "The government is the mast, the citizens are the wind, and they are all swimming on the sea of time . . . But, well, of course there's also the possibility of the ship suddenly getting stranded." Prussia is stranded. He has no wind, and the mast is not secured like it should be. A ghost ship left to roam nothing more than the currents of the sea and left guessing where he'll end up. Of course, he isn't run aground, since he is still in working condition, but he is not being used. Time's currents toss him to and fro, and he has nothing to control it, the only thing he can manage is to not capsize. If he suddenly hits a coral or is tossed on land by a sudden storm, or even farther out than before, he has no power, nothing. In a sense, he has to rely on Germany more than he'd ever admit.

Now, I think it is safe to assume Prussia has a legit fear of death. He doesn't want to go, despite all the drawbacks to living forever and being a nation, he wants to cling to that. He feels like he HAS to cling to that. So in his blog when everyone is saying how he died and are all waving their favours at his depart, once he wakes up after England's cooking, he says "YOU JERKS DON'T GO KILLING ME OFF!" I believe I said this before. He is a living memory, so when people start casting him off, forgetting him, no longer putting the belief into his existence, he fades a little. So he promptly informs everyone he's alive and actually seems rather frantic about it.

Now, I want to go and jump around a bit. On page two you have Prussia with his two pandas and apparently he leaves off everything he buys or gets in the living room, not his bedroom, but it doesn't seem like he is slovenly and throws them around or anything, especially when the picture of them is where they are sitting side by side. That takes care on his part to place them where they are. Even more Germany says he buys a lot of things on impulse. What I find funny however . . . is that China and Hong Kong use the same ploy. "It'll bring happiness", and he falls for it, TWICE! In the same day! He really wants to be happy, huh? He even says he isn't simply impulsive, he puts thought into his purchases; however I see it being more emotional thought. I *insert emphasis ritual* think Prussia is depressed, despite how he acts and the like, he goes over his brainwashing repetition of "It's so fun being alone" to buying happy-charm pandas, he can't stand being lonely, and that's what he usually is. He also spends lots of time with Austria, from giving him stuff to, in episode 24 of the first season where Prussia is complaining about leftovers for breakfast. But to what Germany says about cleaning the house. Fans usually depict Prussia as slovenly, lazy, really nothing but a moocher, but he cleans the house, and again, he doesn't just toss things everywhere, he sets them down like a normal human being. He complains about how big the house is when cleaning it, but he doesn't whine excessively about cleaning up.

I have to ask though, what business does Switzerland have with Prussia? I don't know, Switzerland shows up so late at night to have an important talk and EVERYONE is ASLEEP except Gilbert. I guess Germany being asleep can count as a transfer of power, but it is still strange. Very strange.

In another strip, a look back at Tannenburg DURING the battle, we see a side of Prussia one wouldn't want to see, this sort of demon-like appearance to him. I mean, when he has Poland cornered, how he acts is so unlike him. We have an idea that he is a vicious battler, but this is another side to all the nations here. It just shows there is more to all of them than we thought. Dorky, yes, but this strip is so utterly serious and dark, everything from the lighting to the angles, it just let's us glimpse into the past. I said Prussia became a pacifist in his old age, but while he may have enjoyed this sort of life style as a selfish child, as in his blog he even states that he misses being a self-centred brat and doing what he pleased, now he understands his limits and that life isn't about conquest like when he was born, but about coexisting, getting along, and peace.

* * *

**Final conclusion:** Prussia has done so much in his long life. He was born to fight and took well to his existence. He made enemies, frenemies, but was really alone for most of his life. Hard-pressed to find allies he was stuck fighting to not only expand, but to survive. As he aged to WWI, he gave up everything, leaving a fairly-adult, personally-trained Germany to take his place. He humbled himself under the orders of his brother, despite his centuries of knowledge and power. He entered war with Germany and lost, being placed back in control of his original home. He didn't want to enter war, even denying alliance with Greater Germany until his boss died and the immigration from his brother's home suddenly sky-rocketed the Nazi party into power. Despite not agreeing with the ideals, he was loyal to the very, very end. Now, in his old age, he is still in that cloud of loneliness and gloom, stuck in his memories, missing them, maybe even holding onto lingering regrets.

He isn't what we believe him to be half the time. We have so many fan depictions, but we seem to forget there are people inside the nations. In Himaruya's strip of the Micro-nations, he even talks about how a nation can revert _back_ to a human, but those who have been nations for so long become so entrenched in their dual existence that they can't be one without the other, so instead of reverting to a human, they simply disappear. Prussia is like that. He knows he is not invincible; he matured through the years and actually is one of the best older brothers in the Hetalia world, despite his troublesome antics. Adrift in time, he never knows what will happen; will he gain power once more? Become his own country again? Or one day will he just cease to exist? He lives day-by-day in this state of unknowing helplessness.

Fight on Prussia.

* * *

http: / / hetalia. wikinet. org/ wiki/ Mein_ Gott# Romanized_ Lyrics

http: / / www. hetarchive. net/ scanlations/ hetastreeeem/ xmas20116. php

http: / / www. hetarchive. net/ scanlations/ xmas2011/ 2011_ 12_ 3. php

http: / / www. hetarchive. net/ scanlations/ oresamanoblog/ 41blog3. htm

http: / / www. hetarchive. net/ scanlations/ xmas 2011/ 2011_ 12_ 6. php

http: / / hetarchive. net/ scanlations/ nonlinear. php? vais

http: / / www. hetarchive. net/ scanlations/ vol4omake/ 4ka. html

http: / / www. hetarchive. net/ scanlations/ volumes. php? t22


	10. Ludwig: Worth the Trouble?

As a brief resurrection from the dead, I wanted to post something for you guys and just couldn't get motive to write about any particular character. Well . . . except for Germany. Because I wanted to write so bad about Germany, I realized if I did that, I might as well disembowel myself now. Allow me to explain.

My dear, fellow Heta-tards, while we know the name of the show is "Hetalia", which means "Useless Italy", and we do greatly focus on Italy's life more than most other characters, what is the real point of focus in our convoluted story? Usually, the main focus is some sort of riddle, or some mystery of one kind or another to keep us even remotely interested. However, my friends, Italy . . . is _not_ that focus. We simply follow him and his friends, but the real enigma in this show has to be Germany. Himaruya-sensei has openly admitted to keeping aspects of Germany secret from us fans, and they can range from something no longer important like Ludwig's last name, to the war that is his background. Germany is the point of focus for much of the series, being very important and with a strong personality. And no one can deny his importance seeing as in the first episode it was _not_ Italy who monologue-ed about the Roman Empire, but it was Germany. We start with Germany, we end with Germany. He is, in many ways, the main character. Yes, I guess it could be argued that since we follow Italy (mostly) that it is Italy's story, but again, many things were supposed to be learned about Ludwig through the progression of the series. We know all there is about Italy, so from that aspect, Germany _is_ the main point.

But why would I opt for cutting out my guts and having them spill on the floor rather than write Germany's Character Dissection? Well, for one thing, **it would be so fucking long**! I had tried writing out everything about my thoughts on Germany and every single **fucking** aspect of him, even trying to make predictions through the canon material, and it wasn't even half-way done at **TWENTY-SEVEN PAGES!** Honestly, how many of you would _sit there_ and just _read it_ all in one sitting? I sure as hell would have gotten bored of myself! There are so many things about him, and this is the only character where I cannot completely separate the history from the human. With Ivan, we saw how he was really just a hurt soul as a product of history. Alfred, we saw he was scared to be true to himself and those around him because of his history. Arthur. Gilbert. Matthew. All of them have aspects about themselves that were a by-product of their past, an unintended whiplash from being nations.

Not Germany.

He is the way he is as a human, _**because**_ he is a nation. He entwines himself so one cannot _be_ without the other! And it is so frustrating because I swore to myself I would never look at them as one in the same, and I simply can't when I look at Germany. Everything at the end of the line leads back to a direct **AFFECT** to history as we know it! I can't see a difference between Ludwig and Germany because I don't even think _he _can see it. It could possibly be that Germany cannot believe in himself without his nation side. You even get every single one of the other characters who can let loose, separate choices as humans and nations, have lives and personalities outside their jobs. Some could say it's because Germany is supposed to be the Straight Man of the show, but I seriously believe it is also a character flaw. Not on Himaruya's behalf, but a misconception by Ludwig himself.

Or maybe it's because Prussia now represents the people and Germany _is_ the government? I don't know, and there is absolutely no direct founding for this point. Which brings me to topic two:

I made many promises to myself, and indirectly all of you, when I started this that I would keep head-canon and personal beliefs, no matter how founded I think them to be, out of my arguments. My lovies, I can't do that with Germany. I have so many ideas that would fit so well which have a dual basis in real-world history and Hetalia progression. It would make an excellent fanfiction. However, I am so set in this, I sit here thinking "It makes so much sense, how can it not be right!?" and want to share it with all of you, but then I would be presenting it where it doesn't belong: in my Dissections. It would go against so many of my rules that it makes me both agitated and depressed. I want to write an essay about it, and while it would be in a similar format to the other chapters, it would be filled with 98% head-canon and I would never be able to say that my Dissections are as pure as they can be if I posted THAT.

Then there comes the "feedback". Or what I would rather call **"The Bitching Phase"** after I would post it. Why? Remember that lovely _war_ I mentioned before? I wasn't kidding. People are so stubborn and vicious and opinionated and they refuse to not listen to any facts presented in both the canon material, the textbooks, and just fucking common sense. You guys should know that war, I'm sure we've all come into contact with it at least once, whether we were involved in these "debates", (and I use the term loosely because the proof that many people hurl for one particular side is nothing but sheer rubbish. I have never heard one founded argument from them.) or we happened to see it in one place or another.

You know it. The Holy Roman Empire equals Germany War.

If I were to write anything on Germany, because he is so closely related to his nation self and we really have no background on him as a character, that debate _would_ be a major focus. I'll tell you plainly, I believe they _are_ one in the same. And no, I have never heard a solid argument that was not just anal bitching about how they can't be the same person. Every nation in the world agrees in their history books that Germany was once the Holy Roman Empire. Just, seriously, you can disagree with me. I'll call you an anal retard, but you can disagree with me.

And _that_ is what I mean! I would be opening an issue that may as well just be left to lie because if I did talk about Germany, because I connect him so strongly to history, that would be an absolute must have! And I could go into all the points like how Ludwig does not have Gilbert's last name, which means they weren't originally related; as well as how they look exactly the same and we see Holy Roman Empire sick and it is literally a mini Germany in a nightgown. Yes I could go _FAR_ into all that, but then what would be the point because those same idiots would still be standing by their beliefs with no reason other than "I don't believe it". At which I would get so utterly pissed off. I have no doubt even what I have said so far will bring back the Squirrelly Protestors from the Funimation chapter. I expect to be very pissy and angry later today.

Anyway, in the briefest form possible, that is why I have died on this particular series _for now_. I will come back, maybe if enough of you _really __**really **__**REALLY**_ want to read my full-fledged essay of Germany to get it out of my system, I will post it with every kind of caution tape I can. But yeah. Living is hard work guys, but I can't die yet, I still have all these backed-up stories. See you all around.

Peace out all.


	11. Bad Touch Trio

My friends, I like Hetalia.

No

Friends . . . I **LOVE** Hetalia.

I love the characters. I love the jokes. I love the history, the good times and the bad. I love how the characters are so colourful and gorgeous inside and out, while still being completely realistic with their own faults and struggles. I love the relationships that are formed; friendships, rivalries, and even brotherhood. Even when these bridges crash into the acidic river of hatred and betrayal, I cannot love them any less.

What I _do_ hate, however, is the fandom!

When it comes to misconstruing information, ruining the identities of perfectly likable characters, and making an all-around dick out of an otherwise kindly persona, you all take the second prize medal (Funimation took first from you, sorry). Oh hell, when has _canon_ ever had anything _worthy_ of paying attention to? I mean, what has the actual _creator_ done . . . you know, other than actually _MAKE THE DAMN THINGS_**!**

(*sighs*) For all you people out there who pushed for it . . . and pushed for it . . . and fucking pushed for it. You finally got it:

**Overflowing Passion**

The "Bad Touch Trio" Character song. And you who is fan-squealing over it (you know who you are) please go lobotomize yourself with a spork . . . if you haven't already.

This is the pinocle of stupid companies making stupid decisions because stupid fans make up 95% of our fandom population. I don't hate these characters, you guys already know this. And I am one of the few who sees France as more than some sex-driven pervert out to molest you all. I loathe any and all of you who use "Invade Vital Regions" as Prussia's catch phrase. And while Spain may have paedophile tendencies . . . you nasty little monkeys!

But this is the entire reason why we have the utter stupidity that is The Bad Touch Trio. To be fair, the song is . . . okay. The issues I have with it is that the voices are not able to harmonize because the characters are nothing alike. If it had just been Spain and France, two characters that have history and some good relationships, I wouldn't have minded. Not only that, they could actually sing together without Prussia's rasping, off-setting voice actually throwing the entire tune off balance. Or, I don't know,_not make it_**!**? Why would you make a song with the Bad Touch Trio, who has no character connection in canon media, a song for all three of them, _where none take any notice of the others!?_

It makes no sense! These characters have nothing to connect them, so why the hell do they have a song with all three of them!? And yes, I can even prove this the classic dissection style! For one thing, let's look at the lyrics:

* * *

**Prussia:** We can achieve anything  
**Spain:** We don't need any reason  
**France:** At this age  
**All:** Our daily life

**Prussia:** I'm truly invincible  
**Spain:** Being energetic is the best  
**France:** Love is my driving power  
**All:** Each of us in our own way

**France:** Cute mon amour  
**Prussia:** I'll enraptured you  
**Spain:** 'Cause I'm a man, please excuse me.

**All:** Bold everyday,  
**Spain:** Let's go!  
**France:** The world is forever spinning  
**Prussia:** Strongest! So cheerful!  
**Spain:** And so mischievous!  
**France:** Entrusting body to loquacious passion  
Let's spend our days in the colour of roses  
**Prussia:** In my awesome way

**Spain:** Laughing a lot!  
**Prussia:** So much fun alone!  
**France:** Finest-quality rendezvous!  
**Prussia and Spain:** Everybody's early afternoon

**France:** Strikes and  
**Prussia:** blog updates  
**Spain:** and siestas are essential!

**All:** Free sentiment  
**France:** Do you want to know?  
**Prussia:** I won't ever stop  
**Spain:** Harvest is so much fun!  
**France:** Let's talk about love  
**Prussia:** Solitary passion is the best, too!  
Spending our days in cheerful mood  
**Spain:** Under the sun

**All:** Bold everyday!  
**Prussia:** Let's go!  
**Spain:** The world is forever spinning  
**France:** Voluptuousness and pursuit of beauty  
**Prussia:** So greedy!  
**Spain:** Talkative passion is good too, isn't it!  
Let's make tomorrow cheerful too

**France:** Glowing in my heart  
**All:** Holding our own values!

* * *

Nope. Not a thing. Not one little thing in that song has any relation to these characters as a friendship. Why did you make it!? Did you really need a four minute song to fill up the album and went looking through hours of fanart to see what character should sing it, saw the BTT and went, "That's a good way to make money!" Honestly! They made this tripe because of you people! Be ashamed of yourselves! This is like making crappy sequels because the fans liked the original so much; you guys . . . you just don't know better. You just don't. I mean, you all are brainwashed by your fellows. I mean, yeah, I liked BTT too for a time, it was funny . . . then I started _these_. Then I obsessed over every little detail of the characters. Then I realizes, most of us are fuckin' retards, and that retardation is obviously contagious. Whoever started the Prussia-France-Spain trio should be shot and killed. You fail at humanity and your genes are no longer welcome in our pool.

There is only one time that France, Spain, and Prussia are seen together. You should all know it, the damn thing has been etched into your brains from the sheer epicness that apparently rattled your brains so hard that you all forgot the most important fact. Let me begin, then, with the name: Maria Theresa and the War of Austrian Succession.

Okay, guys, not only is this _old_ strip utterly and completely inaccurate about what happened during the war and who Maria Theresa and Fritz really were as people (I already beat that horse) but what it does have for the characters are really just prototypes. You can see from this strip to the current strips of these same characters that a lot (especially for France, Spain, and Prussia) has changed in their character design. Not so much how they are drawn, but the characters have developed their own personalities. France isn't such a pervert, actually being a philosophical thinker, living in his solitude and keeping his distance from humans, also not really opening up to the other countries as well. Then Spain, who really used to just spout one-liner jokes and exposition. He really had _no_ character at all, but now we see that he is bubbly, loves kids (not in THAT way you sickos), playful, but still hard-working. Then Prussia, who really did go from "Nothing" to "something" went from being the token annoying character to having a deeper persona of being the first character to have a personal connection to a human and then being the only one who expresses some fear of death.

These are not the same characters as back then, but who cares? They never even talk to each other anyway! The only two who do, with a degree of getting along, are Spain and France. Neither ever talk to Prussia during the entirety of this strip, and I have never seen Spain or France talk to Prussia, EVER.

They do, however, have bit-parts in the _"Ore-sama no blog"_ CD dramas that are posted on the net in written form. However, there is little to go on because Prussia never replies directly to Spain. All he says when Prussia "dies" from England's cooking is _"Welcome back~: I'm seriously relieved."_ No reason as to why, here's a speculation: He is nice to everyone! I mean, Spain is pretty much universally nice and cheerful to all, spreading the idea of well-being. Nothing personal with that, so it's not anything to really go on. We also hear that Spain has _"A lot [of] debts"_ to Prussia. Take that as you will.

The only one out of the two Prussia actually sees is France, where all he says is _"I'll only recognize this part about France"_. Well**_ that _**doesn't sound too friendly, does it? He doesn't recognize anything else about his supposed "BFF"? Hey, you guys came up with it! Hell, I would sooner go with Cuba and Prussia because, well, _there is something there_! Cuba calls Prussia "_Big bro"_, far more than what was exchanged between him and France or Spain (who then never show up for the rest of the drama). There are a few random doodles Himaruya has done of the trio, though I believe that was all done in response to you guys and not any actual reason. Even more, only two of them show any interaction between these three, and never with Prussia because he is either passed out or cheering for himself.

Shame on you!

You guys really know how to take something and turn it into something else. Again, I don't mind the song, but the reason of its creation makes me want to shoot Hetalia, then myself. I love Hetalia, but the more stupid things keep happening, I'm fearing old farts like me (since 2009) are going to lose the love and spirit. Why do you guys kick us all out? I'm not the only one either! I know quite a number of dedicated, die-hard fans that really just scratched their heads, threw up their arms, and said "I'm going home." I don't want to be the next one!

* * *

**Oh look! Something to rant about! 8D**

**I mostly joke about it, but I sadly see the end of Hetalia drawing near to me. I'm just losing my care for it all with the Funimation Zombies and . . . this. I honestly don't mind the song terribly much, but tell me: if the creators are looking to the fans for ideas, how much longer do you honestly think the quality of the work will last? It's becoming doomed to fail, because we're just FANS! I mean, god, if we wanted our own version of Hetalia, we'd hop on our word processors and write a bloody fanfiction. I don't want to see FANFICTION, of all things, projected into my canon!**

**That's really the main reason why I wrote this. That, and to also prove that the "Bad Touch Trio" is (1) Disgusting, (2) not supported, and (3) rubbish. Stop making useless things popular! Himaruya is still impressionable, even if he is a grown adult.**

**And if this ever gets back to Himaruya (though I doubt it EVER will) STOP LISTENING TO US!**

www. Hetarchive scanlations/ oresamanoblog/ 41blog. htm

www. hetarchive scanlations/ nonlinear. php?mrt

www. Hetarchive images/ index. php?level=picture&id=247

hetalia. wikinet wiki/ Overflowing_Passion


	12. Mini-Dissection: Einsamkeit

I have been in a rut for a while and now I want to write on something that isn't a story, but an analysis. And it will be on Germany, though not quite in the way as I will do later. Instead of giving you my head-canon, I am presenting a mini-dissection of one aspect of Germany.

When it came to Ludwig's character, as I stated previous, he is the main focus of the story, but for so long, he was never seen as an actual three-dimensional character, which was more than a little disappointing. Look at the character song he had:

_I Am German-Made_

A very upbeat song, it rings with that charismatic patriotism I get when I listen to old speeches from Hitler. Not that I am a Neo-Nazi, not in the slightest, but he had such conviction, pride, charisma, and power, and I feel like this song has those same elements inside. However, it doesn't build Germany's character, it's nostalgic and I would find this song something Ludwig would feel/sing during the reign of Hitler, but not modernly. The song itself holds strong ties to World War Two, talking about battle and boiling pasta, so it is enjoyable, but not pertaining to the heart of the character, this was more or less a passing phase and the only aspects still seen were the same ones we already knew:

Germany is strict, Germany is a clean freak, Germany bosses people around like a drill sergeant.

But who is Germany?

That is where _Einsamkeit_ comes in. And by GOD is it glorious. This is the song that _made_ Ludwig for me. This is where I can see a distinction from country to human, and this song made me cry. Not once. Not twice. Not even three times. Every time I hear this song, I cry (which has risen to the triple digits now; excellent catharsis) and this is why:

I have never really connected to Germany on an intimate level because of how flat he seemed. He was a fun character, the straight man who was constantly tormented by the wacky, lovable Italy (though inadvertently). Then I heard this song, and the tone changed drastically. It was like my experience in listening to Prussia's two songs back-to-back. Completely different moods and tones that reached out and strummed my heart strings. _Einsamkeit_, translated to _Loneliness _from German, reminded me of myself, and that has always been what Hetalia was meant to be.

* * *

**Though I look like I'm lecturing,**

**I'm actually just conversing**

It's not really...

**At times my face may look grim,**

**But I'm actually just cold**

Though I don't mind it...

**I take pride in work that needs delicacy,**

**But my fingers are fat**

That's why

**Even if I'm said to be "generally adequate,"**

Strictly speaking

I don't understand

Einsamkeit[1]

Einsamkeit

Einsamkeit

I want to be found

**Though they say I eat only potatoes,**

**They're the same with soba and pasta**

If the kitchen is just going to get dirty,

Then it would be better just not to cook

Einsamkeit

Einsamkeit

Einsamkeit

My heart is opening,** I want to be set free**

**Because you are here, I can be myself**

**I'm always said to be scowling,**

**But my smiling face hasn't been erased**

**You may think I'm frightening,**

**But it's only because I'm straining to laugh**

**Strong**

**Einsamkeit**

* * *

Ever had that friend, or person, who seemed to just speak AT you? They were blunt and straight forward with their words and didn't fluctuate their voice much, making the conversation seem like those long, narrow boxes; confined. It's intimidating, but all they are really doing is trying to have a conversation and they're just socially awkward. That's Doitsu, and because of the impression he gives off when he talks, being straight to the point with no segues in, it makes him frightening, as if there is a right or wrong answer when all he's looking for is an opinion. People don't much enjoy talking to others like that.

I'll skip on down to the lines _"I take pride in work that needs delicacy, but my fingers are fat . . . Even if I'm said to be 'Generally adequate'"_

These lines are what every artisan feels. Writing, drawing, painting, sculpting, building; we pride ourselves on it, but then we see someone who is so much better. We're average, adequate. It is enjoyable, but not a masterpiece. It is good, but not amazing. "Our fingers are fat". We have something that gets in the way of our passion, our pride, and we cannot change it. And even though we have people on the sidelines cheering and praising our work, it could be better, and because of that, our achievement is dampened and to see our work hurts, because it is a reflection of our deficiency.

Those were little aspects of Germany that, I felt, really start fleshing him out, but the true girth comes from the rest of the song that I can summarize using one lyric.

"_Strong"_

That lyric is the thread, from beginning to end, of this song. That lyric is what kills me every time, breaking down in tears. That lyric, that one word, is everything. A blessing, a curse; a charm, a burden. That was why I suddenly felt so attached to Germany, despite having said previous that Russia and Prussia were the characters that best fit me, they never reach the real heart of who I am, actually feeling more like layers of clothing over who I really am, but this song makes me feel naked. This is Germany's heart laid bare in music, and you can feel it. In the Seiyuu's voice, the strums of the guitar, the crash of the cymbals, even the beating of the drums.

_Einsamkeit_

People want to be strong, dependable, needed; their companions are those who either _can_ be dependable, or who are _dependant_. In the end, the strong person is the one who is the rock of any relationship, and they are considered highly prized. Any person reading this with a leader personality type understands this completely. There's only one of us, because if there were two, we would feel threatened. We _have_ to carry the burden, because without it, no one would stay with us. Like a planet in a solar system being pulled away into a black hole, the sun's gravitational pull is lost and we're left all alone. But are we ever really _not_ alone?

That's this song.

I was once told by a friend that, "I don't have to care about you because you're so strong."

Words could not describe the utter desolation I felt, but now I know one:

_Einsamkeit_

Germany feels alone, despite having Italy and Japan. He feels isolated by things they say, even though he dejectedly points out that they aren't much different from him. Another thing I noted was the Romaji/Japanese lyrics. The line, _"Because you are here, I can be myself"_, in Japanese reads, _"__Kimi ga iru kara, boku de irareru"_.

One moment.

"_**Ore** wa Doitsu "_

. . .

"_**Ore** wa MEIDO IN JĀMANĪ"_

. . .

"**B**_**oku** de irareru"_

Germany referred to himself as "Boku" which is considered the childish form to say "I". No matter how strong he appears to be, he is still a child who needs someone to be strong for _him_. Who is there is unknown, but it's someone who allows him to lean on them in a way he so desperately needs. In a way where he _doesn't_ need to be strong.

* * *

I apologize if this got too . . . personal. This song hits really close to home.


	13. Headcanon Dissection: Ludwig

Long time, no see! I have been absolutely horrible with writing lately, and i never had the urge to really continue anything recently, but a comment has finally urged me to write this chapter. Now, as I stated before, Germany is one of the least analyzed characters seeing as Himaruya had so much planned for him that never bore fruit. Because of that, hardly anything substantial has been dedicated to fleshing him out, making him more like a teddy bear (full of stuffing) than an actual person. As such, **THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO MY OWN PERSONAL HEADCANON! WHILE THIS HAS TIES TO CANON RELATIONSHIPS, THE MAJORITY IS MADE UP OF REAL-WORLD HISTORY AND PERSONAL INTERPRETATION! PLEASE TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT!**

* * *

The commenter you have to thanks for this is Kleinhourglass, and this is what caught my attention:

_"Depressing fact: Lud may be one be the youngest nations among the G8. (Definitely the youngest in the Axis, but I'm unsure with the G8.)_

_That, with his childhood (or the lack thereof), upbringing and the atrocities of WWII, I wonder how he copes with well... everything."_

* * *

Well, for one thing, I will assure you that yes, Germany is indeed the youngest of the G8, if not one of the youngest nations in Europe and even the commonly-recognized world. There are obviously other nations that have been born in recent time, but none as prominent as Germany, who is even younger than Canada! Canada Day is July 1, 1867, The German Empire was created in 1871, but wasn't particularly recognized until the crowning of Kaiser Wilhelm II in 1888, though some sources claim that "Germany" came into existence around 1889. That means Canada, as an "independent" nation, was roughly 22 years older than Germany, at least. One could even say Germany was like Canada during the time, his own nation in his big brother's shadow. Literally.

What I disagree with is the second comment made. His "lack of childhood?" I never saw any of that, rather, I always saw Germany having a rather sheltered childhood whilst in the care of Prussia, and that ultimately led up to the two World Wars. Let me explain.

By the time Prussia came to acquire the idea of a united Germany, he was considered the military power of Europe, equal in prestige as the English navy. They had fought the European power of centuries, the Austrian Empire, and won, not once, but in two major wars. Austria was renown to have the support of the Catholic Church, and to have been the wall that held back the Ottomans from spilling into Europe in the past centuries. Austria was the saviour of Christian Europe while Prussia was nobody. As stated prior in Prussia's dissection, he was this itty-bitty little piece of land carved out of Poland with the Commonwealth, Sweden, France, and Austria on all sides, backed against the Baltic Sea. At the time he made his home permanent, Austria was the Great Wall of Europe, if you will, at the height of his power. Furthermore, Prussia was not Catholic, but Protestant, while the mighty-men of Europe were on the complete opposite side of the scale.

Fast forward 200 years to the early 1700s and Prussia is in an economic crisis. The Military is well trained, but rarely if ever used in any form of actual combat, and Frederick has just taken the throne after his father died May 31, 1740. His wife started the Mulberry orchards outside Berlin to house imported Silk Worms which helped alleviate the economy some, it was not enough, however. Austria had just crowned Maria Theresa the same year in October, and he could see the other nations eyeing the extensive lands they were sure the new empress would be too incompetent to keep. Frederick saw the unused ores of Silesia as a way to renew the Prussian economy. When diplomatic efforts failed they went to war, or rather a series of wars that didn't officially end until 1762, seen as the last bid for the Austrian Empire to reclaim their title, of which fell away completely from their grasp as Prussia became increasingly more popular among the other German States.

A United Germany became a goal for both Austria and Prussia with the demise of the Holy Roman Empire (also known as "The Germanies") that came with Napoleon's European conquest. Once France was subdued, the issue became obvious for the Germanic countries, who now floated off on their own, having been slapped upside the head with Austria's failing strength. Now it became Prussia's turn to create the next Empire, which was completed in 1871.

"But Whyntir," you're probably saying, "What the hell does this have to do with Germany as a person?"

I stated before Germany is a strange character. He is a person because he is a nation. He is a nation because he is a person. His entire sense of being is coiled around his identity as a country.

"But you've been only spouting off for the last 5 minutes about Prussia's history, which you already prattled on about in Prussia's dissection. What does this have to do with Germany?" you may be asking.

From here on out, this is entirely head-canon and may be proven COMPLETELY WRONG as Himaruya returns to Hetalia and, once again, begins flushing out the characters.

Frederick started the idea of unification with the Partitioning of Poland, though focusing on his own lands that were scattered between bits of Poland. It was the first time Prussia was ever whole, making Frederick the first ever King of Prussia, rather than the original title "The King in Prussia".

During the 1800s, Prussia was at movie star status for his military abilities. He was the gossip of the Germanic States, the smallest World Power and was one of the only armies to have gone to Russia during the Napoleonic wars after realizing their own nation was doomed, still fighting while other nations keeled over in defeat. Even more, Napoleon himself was noted for going to the tomb of Frederick, having the men with him remove their hats in respect, and said, "If this man were still alive, I would not be here."

Germany, as a child, was surrounded by these reminders. He was in the midst of a great nation who was feared, respected, a living legend. He would hear of these great battles, embellished in a way that only those who have never witnessed war could manage. But above all else, I see Prussia attempting to shelter Germany. He enters war with France, collecting the last of the Germanies, creating a unified, safe Germany. No one would dare attack the state from fear of Prussia's astounding resume, and following 1871, the Prussian politicians and nobility said "Enough. We're done fighting, we've completed what we want to do. We're finished now."

In a Hetalia sense, Prussia created a place where his little brother could rule without fear of attack, here he could learn the arts of politics and diplomacy, not the brutality of war. Where Prussia could retire without worrying that the boy he practically raised ever having to see what he had seen. My idea of the affair goes that Prussia would never show a face void of happiness to Ludwig. The boy would never know the pain that came with war, a pain he should never have to endure. Prussia took it upon himself to protect Lud, to give him a utopia where he would never know the true evils of humanity.

This idea backfired, however. Ludwig only saw the prestige, honour, and wealth that came from war. He didn't truly understand it, and so, when he ascended as the face of the nation, he didn't see what he had been given as an end, but as a beginning. It was now his turn to carry on the torch. He had something to live up to: a powerful, successful older brother. He had to be like Gilbert. Prussia tried talking him out of it, though not wanting to have Ludwig feel that there was no faith in him, nor did he want the blonde to think his older brother was disappointed, he could only manage little nudges here and there, which were completely forgotten as Austria and Hungary urged him onward, giving him a taste of the importance he would gain by succeeding. Deluded by his ideas of grandeur and want to achieve, what he thought, would be his brother's approval, he dived head-first into World War One.

And failed.

Humiliated, he returned to his home to find that he no longer had Gilbert by his side. Blaming himself for losing, for shaming his brother, being unable to keep the legacy going, he fell into a deep depression in tandem to his economic status. North of him, Prussia didn't suffer as bad, balancing his economy much better, almost with grace, pounding in, even further, Ludwig's sense of worthlessness. He couldn't even feed his brother's children.

Then enters Hitler, the man whose book and speeches comfort him. As though Adolph wrapped his arm around Germany's shoulders and said, "There, there. It's not your fault, it never was. It's the fault of the Jews. We lost because of the Jews. We're poor because of the Jews. You're young, still getting your bearings, and that's why they took advantage of you. You were a victim, like everyone else."

Anyway, that's just a bit into my head-canon of Germany. If you notice, I don't attach the ideals of society to Germany as a nation, because he's a strange thing. His humanity is virtually non-existent, and as we know, the nations, at some time, started as humans, at least in some way. As a supporter of the HRE = Germany theory (which is, by now, more or less fact) Ludwig has been a nation even before Prussia was born, and this long lifespan has, possibly, created a disconnect between him and a human identity, while Prussia being a "deceased" or retired nation has helped in keeping his sense of self prominent. He attempted to foster that in Ludwig, but it served only to distort his views of the world, and even himself.

By all means, completely disagree with me! Better yet, tell me your own head-canons in the reviews, I might learn a thing or two form the lot of you! I mean, I usually run the other way from head-canon since much of it is not founded in any realm of understanding, but maybe I just no longer give the fandom any credit.


End file.
